Nobody wins with a narcissist, anyone near them gets sick

There is nothing happy about this topic. It is just sad. But as sad as this is, it is real and many need to be warned of the perils of narcissism—for those close to decide to depart, and for those imperilled by disordered leanings to at last be honest and repent.

This article is an imploring for both—the victim of the narcissist and for the narcissist themselves—but the true narcissist will never repent. In the old terms of the AAs, they’re persons “who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves.”

There is a major crisis for the person who is coupled to the narcissist, whether as a partner, a close family member, friend, co-worker, boss, pastor or parishioner. That major crisis draws the person afflicted into a tension between suffering as a bleeding empath or becoming a narcissist themselves, for we all have the capacity for it.

For both problems there is the one global solution—leave. Whether leaving is boundaries that give safe distance—usually for non-partnered, non-employee relationships—or they’re physically leaving and burning the bridge behind us—in the case of partnered or employment relationships—leaving is something that simply must be done, for, as Forest Gump might be heard to say, “Toxic is as toxic does.” What we don’t leave, we become—either torched at the stake or as a fellow lighter.

This is complex, I do know. There are invariably children or other dependents involved. There will be collateral damage. Nothing that is innately toxic doesn’t leave a stain as a reminder of what was. As I said, this is sad. An enduring mark of grief is certainly left in many situations.

Nobody wins with a narcissist, least of all themselves, even if they do decide on every occasion to take the winnings. Everyone loses. They themselves lose, for the simple fact that they’re never happy. They’re always looking for the next feed, and supply needs to be generously ample.

But let’s focus for a moment on our friend, the innocent. Anyone who sticks around has good reason to remain, even if it seems obvious to onlookers that leaving is the only real and sane option. They themselves don’t notice their decline—like the frog that is slowly brought to the boil. 

Their onlooking loved ones look on in desperation, for they can see the lethal effect of the toxic environment. And yet they can do little about it. They watch their friend or family member get sicker and sicker, and they themselves get sick with grief. Nobody wins with a narcissist. Anyone near them gets sick.

The sickness looks like a curse; a scourge that infects that orbit of life like a cancer. Sources of goodness are swallowed with vacuum force into an ether of nothingness. Everything of worth begins to decay. Nothing is valued. Before long, there is nothing to show for what may have appeared glorious with potential, where long ago things turned sour.

Nobody wins with a narcissist and anyone near them gets sick.