Relationship, Leadership, Success, Life… it is ALL Service

 

For the past year, for the first time in my life, I’m constantly in conversations about relationships, leadership, success, and life that reveal a solitary theme: service for the win.

Service as in serving… as in giving… as in sacrificing… as in reflecting over one’s thoughts, attitudes, behaviours, and deeds.  Those who have great relationships, who are great leaders, who enjoy great success, they are all deeply committed to service.

What do I mean by “service”?

Those who are deeply committed to service would prefer to do the work than have others do the work for them.  Those who serve would prefer to be accountable than hold others accountable.  Those who serve expect little from others, but they expect a lot from themselves—but importantly, they don’t punish themselves for failures, they strive to do better.

Service is the opposite of entitlement. 
Service is the opposite of privilege.

Those who serve motivate others to kindness through their acts of service.  They serve with joy for the blessing they can be in doing simple things to make others’ lives better.

Marriages go better when husbands serve their wives.  Why not the other way around?  The default is wives already serve their husbands.  There is no better way to woo a wife than to do loving things, give time generously, give thoughtful gifts, give loving compliments, give warmth and affection.  Husbands who expect to be served will have unhappier wives.

Leaders are inspiring when they’re thoughtful, anticipating ways of giving to those in their care.  Leadership is not about the ‘privilege’ of being the ‘boss’.  There’s no service in lording it over people.  But when leaders serve, they provide a cogent example of teamwork, and their humility shines forth as inspiration.

Serving provides success through the willingness to get one’s hands dirty in a way that the person serving expects little if no reward.

Relationships, leadership, and success are not in viewing ourselves as right and others as wrong, imagining we have all the answers and others don’t.  It’s the complete opposite; it’s when we affirm others when they’re performing well, and just as much it’s when we admit we’ve missed the mark. 

None of us have the market cornered in wisdom;
when we think we do, we’re conceited.

The more we can demonstrate the emotional intelligence of being flexible and connected, the more inspirational we become.

Relationships, leadership, success, and life no less, is all procured through service.

Awareness for Gratitude

INSIGHT is one of the keys to mental health.  Another is motivation.  Insight is crucial for mental health, because without insight we cannot search for and see truth—given the general biblical premise that, “the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32)  

Another term for insight is awareness. 

Motivation is of course needed
to convert awareness to action.

In the context of awareness, gratitude is the key to a plethora of mental health resources, not least perspective and resilience.  But few of us are inherently grateful; it doesn’t usually come naturally.

No matter how grateful we tend to be, there are always times in our lives when we struggle for gratitude.  Awareness of our lack of gratitude is the key.  It may be that we struggle for it long enough that others are giving us feedback of our lack (“Why are you complaining all the time?”), or perhaps better so, we see within ourselves the slide into trouble that we’re on (“Why are I complaining all the time?”).

Without gratitude we slide
into many varietals of malady.

But with gratitude, many blessings
of insight become possible, even realised.

Life without gratitude is a life made for complaint, and not all complaints are justified.  Indeed, most complaints are not, though there is even a biblical case for complaint in many circumstances in life—for example, loss and grief.  The key biblical imperative, however, is we are not to STAY in complaint, even if it can last a long while or we meander back and forth through it.  We are meant to traverse through it, eventually. 

Awareness for gratitude (or lack thereof) is pivotal in the mental health maintenance journey.

Reading this, you could say:

“Well, how am I going?” 
“Am I appropriately grateful right now?” 
“How’s my awareness right now?”

These are crucial questions to ponder, for we alone are masters and mistresses of our own destiny.  It’s okay if we’re not grateful and realise our gap, and even our desire to transform our thinking is a movement toward it. 

I would argue that we can’t tussle for gratitude if we aren’t aware of our lack of it.  But when we are grateful, we might be aware how easy we can slide out of it.

Awareness for gratitude is what promotes the maintenance of our mental health.  It’s the demonstration of a growth mindset.  It’s what separates those who live productive lives from those who don’t or can’t.  Awareness for gratitude is, I think, a gift of emotional intelligence.  Those with it are a gift to those around them.