The Triangle of Unconditional Love

“Love is made up of three unconditional properties in equal measure:

1. Acceptance

2. Understanding

3. Appreciation

Remove any one of the three and the triangle falls apart.”

—Vera Nazarian

Love is such a confused topic. The world thinks it knows all about love—in varying degrees and manifestations of romance, sex, and devotion, etc—yet this notion is so comprehensively broader.

Unconditional love is real love and it has three sides—a self-supporting triangle.

Unconditional Acceptance

We all know about acceptance and rejection; no matter how well-adjusted we become in life we are always susceptible to the acceptance and rejection of our peers. Thankfully we have the unconditional acceptance, apportioned to the degrees of salvation, of God.

We love people via our plain acceptance of them. Acceptance is something that goes forth from us, by divine measures of grace, as we relinquish the carnal rights of judgment. Rejection via judgment is entirely the realm of God, yet there is also a love that is based in discipline that looks like rejection—i.e., tough love—but isn’t.

Unconditional acceptance runs beyond the strains of the human heart; it extends into the farthest reaches of the Divine heart. Only from God can we get and gain access to such a terrific example of evident and transferential grace. God transfers it to us in accord to the measure of our spiritual surrender.

Unconditional Understanding

Another deep concept is this one. This is surely about forgiveness; the ability of one vessel of God to receive sufficient grace in the extraneous moment to extend a smile and hold the harsh word.

This sort of understanding runs beyond judgment for the issues at hand. It understands the person themselves. It sees the person behind the issue. Unconditional understanding values the person, despite their ideology, methods, and rancidness.

This may be one of the hardest things we could achieve, but that’s just the point. We can’t ‘achieve’ grace; we are only gifted grace through our intentional surrender before God.

Unconditional Appreciation

Actualised encouragement is the weight of appreciation found best specifically directed. There is nothing like being encouraged in thoughtful ways.

When appreciation comes bursting forth from within us, and it is directed with intention and specificity, others feel blessed by our encouragement.

This gift of God relies upon no string; there is nothing attached to this form of love. Unconditional appreciation—otherwise, the spiritual gift of encouragement—is its own form of godliness.

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Unconditional love is a triangle, completed by Acceptance, Understanding, and Appreciation. Unconditional love is the love of God. Unconditional love is the greatest gift we can give or receive. In Acceptance, Understanding, and Appreciation we love unconditionally.

Of course, the grandest narrative of unconditional love is the life, obedience, death, and resurrection of Jesus.

© 2012 S. J. Wickham.