Fighting for a Great Marriage

“A great marriage is a combination of history, mystery, and chemistry.”

— Kay Warren

Marriages have been under attack from the enemy of God ever since the Fall. For every very happy marriage there must be 10 other marriages that struggle, even if only for a season or two.

There may be no marriage where both partners whistle blissfully through the entire journey without doubts as to their love and commitment to one another. Occasionally marriages reach breaking point, and, like two ships passing silently on the night, one gives up; typically the woman.

Somehow the husband gets so committed to his work (or a pastime) that he loses sight of things closer to home. He is wired to work and to work hard, and then he is punished for doing what society often requires of men.

But the woman at home, busy with the kids and her own work, plus the juggling of household priorities—added to the loneliness of emotional disconnection from her husband—is found emotionally spent and spiritually exhausted. She may feel she has become a shell of a woman. She may have harboured silent thoughts for what to do.

And if her husband had even half an inkling of what she had been considering, it would sincerely rock his world. Most husbands have no idea when their marriages are heading toward the ice. All looks fine on the surface, and there is no vision of the icebergs beneath that will cut open his ship and sink it.

Too many marriages end in such ways, where communication has been slowly annulled.

There is hope, however, when we take a look at our marriages and fight for them every single day.

Three Good Reasons and Ways to Fight

Every marriage has its history, and such a history is typically precious to both partners. What God has built humankind should not separate. And God has built a memorial to the marriage by the history that the marriage partners share.

A marriage’s history should be retold and frequently reclaimed as one’s own, particularly together.

Then we should accept that marriage is a mystery, and that in the best of marriages both partners delight in such a fact. Mystery provides spontaneity; a holy spark that ignites the excited way the couple shares their companionship.

Chemistry is what brought two people together, and such a chemistry should never be denied. And chemistry never dies, but it does go dormant. It takes great faith to believe in the rekindling of chemistry, but where we have such faith it is rewarded every time.

If we were once in love we can find ourselves in love again, but not without commitment to journey openly together.

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A great marriage is one worth fighting for, and most great marriages have been fought for. It should be no surprise that most great marriages have had their struggles, but both partners knuckled down and did their work, cooperating with the Spirit of God, so that hope would light the eternal flame of love in that marriage again.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.