Marrying ‘Up’ In the World

“As with most men I meet I am lucky enough to have married up in the world.”

— Gary Smith

When I read this quote, and the succeeding sentence, where this ‘lucky’ husband also praised God for being blessed in having four wonderful children—that “one cannot complain”—I had this strange sense that this may be one of the keys to a life where marriage is literally made in heaven.

It is rare to see such humility in husbands, or in wives for that matter; to bestow glory on the other.

Such humility is borne on the wings of vision for the other people around, not simply ourselves. I imagined this particular husband being a quiet and calming leadership presence around the home. I imagined that if he had this attitude of sincere praise to God for his wife and children that they would most certainly respond in kind.

There is a lesson, here, for all husbands; and particularly for Christian husbands, whom have their goal on Christ, and on serving their families, and by leading that way.

The Husband As Servant Leader

I feel convicted when I say that I know it is God’s vision for me in my marriage to serve my wife, and my children, willingly, enthusiastically, without complaint, praising God all the way.

I have not always succeeded. Indeed, thousands of times I have succumbed to pride, my own greed, and laziness, etc. But something quite mysteriously ‘magical’ happens when I serve my wife (and, also, by the way, by serving my children I serve my wife) because God works three ways.

When I serve without complaint, with a quiet enthusiasm, seeking to foresee her needs even before they arise, it obviously blesses her, it increases intimacy between us, and God blesses me from within to know I am doing his will.

But the beautiful thing about the husband leading by serving is he models that way to his wife and children, encouraging them to adopt the same life approach. Wives love husbands who lead by serving, because they can smell a leader from a mile off. Women have an innate sense for detecting virtue in a man; in a potential husband; and in their husbands.

Women are attracted to men who lead virtuously with a servant heart.

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When men feel privileged to have married the women they have married—that they feel they have ‘married up in the world’—there is a willingness within them to serve their wives. Such a model of servant leadership in marriage is the Biblical model.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.