Reconciling Responsibilities and Resentments

One of the biggest causes of many resentments is the matter of being made more responsible than we feel we ought to be; when someone expects us to do something, or play a role, we feel we are not responsible for. We sense the injustice and want to know why we are being made accountable for something that we see is not our responsibility. But the trouble with life is we are often made responsible for the things we see are not our responsibility at all. It’s a matter of incongruence.

But, such incongruence is a fact of life. We would learn to accept such incongruence if we wish to ward away the possibility for resentment, in this case.

We don’t want to stay in resentment for too long, because, quite frankly, if we do that we become ‘hurt’. And such a thing as having become hurt renders us unproductive for the Kingdom. We become more interested in nurturing the resentment than we are in nurturing healthier life responses. We get bogged down and lose our way.

We don’t want to go this way; toward resentment that enrols fully-fledged hurt.

Seeing Resentment for What It Is

Responsibility can make us feel privileged or resentful, depending on what it is and whether it’s our choice or not to assume the responsibility.

Resentment is a darkened place where the soul lives inept and purposefully detached from growth. It would be better to ‘grin through’ the injustice of an inappropriately allocated responsibility and simply discharge the duty to the best of our abilities. Resentment only stifles the owner, but it often has an negative impact on those around us—those we love—as well.

Resentment is a folly of delusion that magnifies the sense of injustice and truly renders us devoid of effective response for life. Where we would typically enter in with vigour and enthusiasm we instead take our second thoughts and we propose a different action; something darker; an action that is captive within the mind. We stew on a negative matter.

Getting Past the Resentment

Whilst it might be understandable to develop a resentment about having a responsibility foisted upon us that we feel isn’t ours, it does us little benefit in harbouring the resentment to the point of developing and keeping a full-blown hurt at berth.

When we see that resentments take us nowhere good we have the opportunity to do something different.

We may notice how resentments mount, and then quickly work on the circumstance.

As we begin to feel resentment emerge, we can make a choice to ‘grin through’ the request or demand another has placed on us. We are careful to ensure our heart is aligned with our action in grinning through. It is little good grinning through something if we don’t truly feel happy enough within.

***

When people expect too much of us, instead of being resentful, we could see the situation as part of a calling of God—that we may be able to satisfy them. Taking on tasks cheerfully is simply about making life work. Is it worth getting resentful when to do the task is simpler, quicker, and glorifying to God?

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.