The Toxicity of Holding of Hurts

FROM DEEP BENEATH comes the swollen undercurrent of pain that breaches the reinforced doors of the unconscious mind as it rears forth via the spoken medium of hurt.

Such expression is palpably endorsed and forced by anger that bridges the chasm of our self-control; it works under the instructions of our pain, against our better judgment.

We don’t always do what we know to be the best thing.

There are times when we insist upon holding the hurt that both angers and grieves us, for we want justice, and we cannot let go until justice is served! Wrong upon wrong has been dealt us or those we love and we just cannot let it go.

Yet the more we hold on, the more we stew in our own juices, and the harder it becomes to let go. The more we think about these matters, the more we feed the swelling vestiges of the body of our torment. All the injustices are just reinforced.

Whilst we might appear justified in our own minds, confident and comfortable in our own hearts with this action, we do not see the delusion affecting our community before us. Holding the hurt longer and longer will only stifle growth—and here’s the pity: in others, too, not just ourselves.

Justifying the hurt in any way, no matter how justified we truly are, blocks the forward motion of God’s operant grace for forgiveness. God can do nothing if we or the other remain resistant, stubborn, and steadfast in only our personal concern.

Allowing Forgiveness to Abide

All that remains in reversing the trend of holding fast to our hurt is the decision to forgive and get on with the rest of our lives, free, without being held back. No matter how much we are hurt—or how justified we are—holding onto our pain is a dead-end solution.

Holding on is every hindrance, whilst letting go—and simply being prepared to contemplate letting go—is freedom replete in all manner of virtue: peace, joy, contentment, wisdom, and reason, to name a few. We must allow forgiveness to abide.

All that stands between a held hurt and letting go is a decision. The will can do this instantaneously. We can will anything into action by our deciding to do it.

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No hurt is justifiably held, but we’re forgiven for desiring justice. Our hurt is the spoken representation of our pain. Letting go of our hurt is trusting God to heal us of our pain. It is as simple as deciding that to be healed is infinitely better than holding on. But we will need to keep deciding to let it go. What we let go of we need to let go of.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.