But That’s How It Is

THERE are so many things in life we struggle to accept, but that’s how it is. There are many things we cannot change, but that’s how it is. There are also many things we must change and that’s just how it is.

These are realities that separate the mature decision from the not-so-mature decision. When we get it wrong – when we struggle to accept the reality as it presents – then there is always a negative consequence. Our situations end poorly or our relationships suffer.

Despite the realities of life that are presented before us as stimulus, there are also the realities of our response.

When we wilt under the pressure of the presented reality we are struggling to accept life, but that’s how it is.

Many of our problems are first world problems. There is not enough time, too much to do, problems around wants not needs, and relationship problems because of value clashes. In the overall scheme of things most of our problems are solvable when we approach them with realism, humility, and an absence of covetousness, when we are prepared to let go of our strangleholds.

When we put our problems in context – especially as we appreciate the level of choice we may have over them – we can find a way to live with ‘but that’s how it is’ situations.

Then there are those people who do struggle beyond first world problems. There is grief they deal with that is untenable. There is no answer, but that’s how it is, at least for the season of life. We can neither be flippant regarding the plight of the grieving, nor should we be pretending it will always be as hopeless as it is now. Recovery is always a choice. But it’s slow going. The shaping of a new identity can begin at any time. When we don’t give up, we get there eventually.

The Great Benefit Of the Virtue of Acceptance

When we approach acceptance, life is at peace. And life is at peace because we have met the truth. The truth sets us free. Sure, there is a moment of pain to deal with – as we hear ourselves utter the truth – but then there is the blessing of courage for having honoured the truth.

Acceptance can only help and not hinder the living of life. And once acceptance becomes more of a habit, when we go to acceptance without thought, there is a living courage we personify, and as we observe it in ourselves we experience confidence and we are encouraged.

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We cannot change many things in life, but we can accept them. There are many things we are required to change, those for which we are blessed to accept. We may not like everything that occurs to us, but that’s how it is. Acceptance helps a great deal.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.