Singleness, Celibacy and Soul Mates

We wonder in our singleness

If God will ‘do His thing’,

We wonder if at all

Love it is He’ll bring.

It took a while

For this in which to learn,

God rewards diligence

And the effort to discern.

Having done what we can do

On this important quest,

Rewarded are we

When a soul-mate gives us zest.

It took some time for me to discover, in my singleness, that God rewards the diligence of effort and investment. Sure, we risk rejection; it’s an ever-present threat. But if we are prepared to sow into another person’s life, to love them unconditionally, then we are ready for the service of partnership.

If we honestly think we have what it takes to love another person through the vitality of respect – to give and receive trust – and we are not called to live celibately – then God is leading us in that direction.

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Grace in marriage

Is such a windfall,

Better not disparage

What God did call.

I try to be thankful every day for the grace that is extended to me by my wife. It’s in the little things that it counts most I think. I love you to bits ‘n’ pieces, Sarah. And, being convicted to share this means I am also convicted to return that grace that’s bestowed so freely over me.

When one partner feels like a soul-mate for the other, the other is bound to pick up on the nuances of intimacy projected over them. Soul-mates are true friends, lovers, and allies in arms – all formed into one. Grace that permeates the relationship is clear evidence of one’s gift of soul-mateship to the other. Can the other then not reciprocate?

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Open your eyes to the wonder of the day,

Do not despise the echo of delay,

Life has us waiting for nothing so it seems,

Do not stop dating or let go of your dreams.

Nobody likes that ‘left on the rack’ feeling, and so many of us have experienced its loneliness, self-consciousness, and rejection. Allowing our hopes to morph into the reality of intentionality is to try and try again. What is there to lose? Just do the work God wishes you to do on you in the meantime. That’s what can be done.

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Seasons of singleness help us determine the sort of life God is calling us to: celibacy and soul-mateship are but two options. A single person is in their own best position, having sought God, to know what life they are led to ultimately lead. They are blessed to follow that leading, to bring about that calling, within the acceptability of God’s timing. They are to be blessed with patience in the intervening time.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.