The Phone Call From the Lonely Man

SOME time ago I received a phone call from a gentleman who need not be named, but one who had succumbed to a very common social issue that many people, and especially men, suffer from.

The issue was loneliness, but the deeper cause to this issue of isolation was a manifestation of a season of anxiety and depression.

This gentleman had reconciled within himself that the only way he could present himself adequately in social situations was as a strong and capable man, fully in control of his weaknesses. His premise was okay, until he found himself compromised and vulnerable and then, of course, he had nowhere to go for support.

This gentleman, we can call Tom, telephoned me, but only after he had received a revelation from God. That revelation was that his isolation was intrinsically part of the problem.

To receive help for his weakness he needed fellowship of other men; guys who had as their purpose to get beyond superficial talk, so as to talk about and especially listen into the deeper issues of life.

He needed other men not so much when he was strong but when he was feeling weak. He would only make himself available to be around others when he felt strong enough, but unfortunately that wasn’t the time he needed them. He most needed others when he felt weak, compromised and vulnerable.

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The telephone call went something like this:

“Hey Steve, God woke me this morning at 2 AM to tell me to get out of bed and go for a walk. I did so even though I was tired. While I was on the walk God told me that the reason I was feeling so weak was because I was so isolated. He told me that my problem and my solution were one and the same thing. ‘To receive my power’, he said, ‘connect with other men when you are feeling weak. When you share yourself boldly and honestly I will be with you and I will use these men to heal you’.”

On the phone, Tom told me, “Steve, it makes so much sense. I feel delivered.” I replied, “It sounds like a miracle to me, Tom. Praise God.”

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When we feel weak we isolate, but that’s the opposite of what we need. When we are vulnerable we need support. When we most want to isolate, that’s the time we most need to connect with others.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.