Sunday, December 28, 2014

Moving Forward From Difficult Elements of the Past

Whatever the past we own, we have today, and we have tomorrow. That’s a fact. But it’s not that simple for a good many of us. There are problems in the past for all of us. Some are big problems that continue to lurk. Some problems we live with. Some are just elements and fragments. Some we have overcome. Other problems dominate our lives. We justify our problems as ‘not that big’ really.
There are elements of all our pasts we are uncomfortable with.
But it’s only a problem if it’s a problem, today. If it lingers, that something in the past, we are obviously looking at our options to diminish the impact of the problem. Options that involve us in honestly working through the problem help best. And support always helps most.
***
None of us really know just how hard your problem is. We can listen and empathise, but we will still struggle to fully understand. But at least there is the attempt made. At least there is interest shown.
And that’s probably all you need in someone listening; an attempt made to understand and an interest shown.
I can’t say your problems are ‘this’ and ‘that’, because they are yours and I’m not experienced in the acute detail of your life. You have your upbringing that I didn’t have. You are biologically connected differently to me. And, of course, the circumstances that involved you in your problems are nothing that I’ve precisely faced.
But I can listen. I can attempt to hear. See the value of finding someone who wants to hear?
I don’t know what you’ve been through, but I can listen. I can seek to show you I’m interested.
***
Moving forward beyond the troubling elements of our pasts is made easier when we can share our vulnerability with someone we trust. We know we can trust them because they are genuinely thankful for the courage we display in sharing so honestly.
Moving forward is an attractive proposal for any of us who have more to gain than we have to lose. But it still requires courage as we decide to step forth in faith.
If you have decided to move forward, because hope for the future is more vibrant that the pain of past is painful, there are many who bid you well, and many who will be praying for you, even people you do not know.
The best of life is lived when we move ever forward whilst we deal truthfully with the past.
Moving forward is personally defined, but with adequate and appropriate support.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.

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