“If you wish to know the mind of a person,
listen to their words.
If you want to know their heart, watch their actions.”
If you want to know their heart, watch their actions.”
— Lisa Prosen
Recently, a person I’ve mentored
sent me a note on an anniversary of a particularly painful event in their life.
Their times have now equalised, and it is apt to praise God. Suffering endured,
resilience shown, support received. And it was to this support that was
connected kindness — care. I shared
the note with my wife because it was addressed to her, too. Immediately what
came out of her mouth struck me: “Support isn’t support unless it comes with
kindness.”
It was nice to know on this
occasion that support had been received because of the kindness felt.
I’ve had people in my life say they
cared, but never showed it in any tangible way. Apparently their few words were
enough. Their ambivalence, sufficient? Their coolness, care? Their lack of
kindness, my problem. Now, I know why people say they care but don’t. They don’t
live the other person’s reality. They cannot, for whatever reason, extend past
themselves. They don’t care because they’re not tangibly kind.
Those enduring adversity need
support: the care of kindness, which is inevitably action-oriented, which can
be words, but more often than not is more.
Support isn’t support unless it comes with
kindness.
Care is felt through the action of kindness.
Care is felt through the action of kindness.
Nobody cares what we know until
they know that we care, and nobody can tell if we care or not unless they feel kindness.
May God truly bless you as you support
people by caring through your kindness,
Steve Wickham.
Truth.
ReplyDeleteI've often thought these thoughts and experienced them by being both a perpetrator, a giver and receiver. But have only realised in retrospect that I had actually been a perpetrator due to immaturity and maybe a detachment from their feelings and what they were going through; certainly not done with bad intentions. These are good things to ponder on and through maturity and experience we can come to these situations with more empathy,love and care.
ReplyDeleteI've often thought these thoughts and experienced them by being both a perpetrator, a giver and receiver. But have only realised in retrospect that I had actually been a perpetrator due to immaturity and maybe a detachment from their feelings and what they were going through; certainly not done with bad intentions. These are good things to ponder on and through maturity and experience we can come to these situations with more empathy,love and care.
ReplyDelete