“When does drinking become a problem? Umm, I’m asking for a friend”

Probably not what many want to be thinking about just before Christmas, but those who have a problem with alcohol are already possibly concerned about their intake and are possibly toying with the idea of reducing it or giving drinking up completely.

I hear from many Christians who are astounded as to how many Christians become problem drinkers; about as many possibly as those who develop problems with pornography. Christians just about represent societal averages these days.

Whenever someone asks me whether I think they drink too much, I ask, “Well, how much do you drink… how many standard drinks do you consume each week?”

Now, as a person who has recovered from alcoholism, I can tell you what they say is both about the number and not about the number.

I’m interested in any sense of hesitancy in their answer, which indicates shame, which highlights a deeper issue and pinpoints a problem.

But I’m also interested in the figure they give. Many people who have a problem with alcohol either can’t tell me how much they drink, or they rationalise or minimise it somehow.

I have always said to my adult daughters, “If you enjoy the occasional drink (i.e. literally one or two in a sitting) and you’re never preoccupied by desiring to drink, there’s no problem; drink. But if you ever need to drink more than that, and especially if it becomes a pattern, your drinking has become a problem.”

You see, it’s a slippery slope. It takes a few years before drinking becomes part of our lived culture. When it’s part of our weekly grocery shop, especially when it’s a must-have, it’s already becoming too great a problem.

It wasn’t until I stopped drinking entirely in 2003 that I began to realise the sheer bliss in being straight of mind. It’s like the person who says, “I never get drunk, just a little tipsy…” when they’re consuming two bottles of scotch, plus wine and beer each and every week. What they miss out on is the blessing of being completely free of the stuff. Being straight of mind is bliss. Sobriety is wonderful!

Again, I know that this article comes at a really bad time, when people are most ready to let their hair down and enjoy a good bit of Christmas cheer.

A few questions to leave you with. Is it possible that how much you drink is setting you up for health impacts (physical and spiritual) later in life? Is it possible that your drinking is a cover for deeper emotional needs that would be better answered honestly? Is it possible that you’re leading by the wrong example (minors, for instance) in how much and how often you consume alcohol? And finally, do you ever hide your drinking?

I’ve ventured into this subject lightly. The truth is, out of control drinking has social effects on many families, and that often translates into visible effects of varieties of abuse and neglect. That’s a topic for a future article.

Photo by Kelsey Chance on Unsplash