Picked up winsomely & either dropped without a care or held by threat

Many romances start one way and end the opposite way.  But it’s not just romances.  The pattern of being picked up as if you were the most special prize on the planet, yet you are unceremoniously dumped when you’re of no use anymore, highlights something of a learning experience.  Hopefully we don’t need to learn the hard way again.

There are two equal but opposite problems within relationships with narcissists — you’ll either not be able to extract yourself or you will find yourself no longer of use to them in a very sudden way.  Both of these outcomes are tormenting realities for the person who fell for the charm that the narcissist had in spades in the early stages of the relationship.

Charm is one of the ploys.  So are the dynamics of ending the relationship.  Could I be so crude as to say that there would be a 50/50 split between narcissists on the one end who imprison their partners, holding them by threat, and those at the other end who abandon their partners, dropping them without a care.  Either way you have a situation that leaves you confounded for response.  You’re left picking up pieces or unable to move.

There truly is little wonder that the destruction caused may leave the injured party maimed for some time, and in some cases for the rest of their lives.  This is because such a situation feels impossible to reconcile.  The innocent party is left high and dry.  They were conned.  There is no correspondence to be entered into for the narcissist.  They have no account to make.  And no amount of asking them to apologise will get you what you want.  There is only one who will despair and it isn’t the narcissist.

The thing we need to do is to train our empathic young people, and empathic people of all ages, about the snares of these people who pick up people with such skill of charm, which is a big red flag, only to abandon or imprison.

Like any deal that seems too good to be true, a relationship is just the same.  If it feels too good to be true, watch out, for there may be a peril to be faced once the veneer of charm wears off.  And that peril could be something that has the power to change the course of your life.

Photo by Radu Florin on Unsplash