The slow and awkward ascent out of depression

It may be fair to say that everyone who has suffered depression would prefer not to have suffered from it, even if depression can open the eyes of our heart and teach us compassion, grace, acceptance, patience, kindness and empathy.

It may also be fair to say that everyone who has suffered depression has tried, at least minimally, to claw their way out of it.  This is where faith sets us up on a quest to overcome the prevalence or depth of the bond we have come to have with the black dog.  Without faith, we can plummet further and further down the sinkhole of despair.  With faith at least there is hope for a better day ahead, or at least better days more often, and something of a purpose from the suffering.  And yet, with faith there are still experiences of anguish that are beyond our ability to bear.  Faith helps, and it is best to be relied upon, but it is no silver bullet in solving the immediate concerns of depression.

The slow, awkward, gradual ascent out of depression, firstly, is possible in many cases, but not in every case; management of the illness depends heavily on the vagaries of the person, the circumstances, the case overall, assisted by many forms of help.

For some, it is a case of meds for a prolonged period, even over a lifetime in some cases, which is not a bad thing in and of itself, if it allows the person to function and to gain more enjoyment of and control over their life.  Many of these people we would not have a clue about, as they keep their private struggle as a closely held truth.  Others are more transparent.  Neither is right nor wrong.  The slow and awkward ascent out of depression for these looks like a satisfaction within what cannot be changed, and I think you will agree that takes enormous strength of character, and faith, to do.

For others, depression is something that we suffered for years, before some intervention or bunch of interventions brings miraculous light into their darkness; the tangible circumstances change or one’s outlook changes to cope with what is (which is the bigger miracle of a gracious acceptance; a revelation that comes from God).  All of these are incredible stories, and until we get to know some of these people, we don’t realise how much this does happen.  There are walking miracles around us everywhere.  They deserve to be encouraged because of the encouragement they are, that there is a power of God that can heal.  But we must stop short of legislating that God heals all in this way — because that simply isn’t how life is.  We must accept that this is a mystery we cannot comprehend.

Then there is the depression caused by loss, felt in the horror of grief.  Whilst this is not classic depression, it does mimic clinical depression, and the full assortment of depressive signs and symptoms is experienced by the person in their grief, together with anxiety in many.  Whilst the passage of tumultuous grief may last between a few months and a year, typically, there will still be an enduring modality of occasional depression that the sufferer will continue to sink into for years to come — the pattern is, a day here, a day there.  This can be redeemed by faith in that we can perceive that we are being taught something we are otherwise wouldn’t have a clue about.  The world needs many more teachers who have experienced this suffering firsthand.  There is something definitely ethereal about those who keep in safe and productive contact with their depression.  These often become wounded healers.

The slow and awkward ascent out of depression is, therefore, a very complex thing to chart.  The main thing is that we have a hope for a better day overall, and better days in the immediate and medium-term.  Faith carries us in the meantime, especially when life is at its hardest, when humility will have us surrender enough to reach out for help to get through the darkest of days.

The ascent out of depression is necessarily slow and awkward — one day forward, one day back, back and forth for weeks or months — as much for gaining a precious respect for the complexities of our being and of our mental health, which we may otherwise take for granted.

Ascending out of depression gives us a fresh appreciation for what we previously did not know, and an empathy for those who have been on or will go on such a journey.

And, finally, if we have not yet ascended out of our depression, hearing accounts from those who have are the encouragements we need, so we can believe that we, too, will one day soon ascend, in what will become our own testimony of ascension.

We are all on this journey of life, and while we all have some of the answers, none of us has all the answers.  Especially with depression, there are copious exceptions to the ‘rules’ we have come to believe in, and it is best that we throw the rule book out if we genuinely want to understand each unique sufferer.

One thing we just have to appreciate in anyone who has recovered from depression, is that there is usually years of learning, of life experience, of suffering many would not have a clue about, of being beaten and rebounding, of profound overcoming, that can only be unequivocally respected.

Photo by Alex Wigan on Unsplash