Like two ships passing silently in the night

All relationships go through trial and challenge if the attachment lasts long enough.  Whether it is conflict, which is most common, or incongruent goals, or for myriads of other reasons, it can often be that one is trying desperately hard to communicate something very plainly and importantly to the other — seemingly never getting through.  It’s like two ships passing silently in the night, one sending out a desperate search beacon, and the other unable to receive that message.

How many husbands have not heard that desperate plea from a wife who is unhappy, discontent, unsatisfied?  Perhaps there is loneliness, where he is present but not present if you know what I mean; the lights are on, but no one is home.  Or, maybe he’s just plain absent.  It could be marital infidelity, or continued unfaithfulness, and such betrayals are brutal, and indeed very hard to come back from.  Or maybe it is a silent abuse; he may be completely oblivious, but his control is worsening, and the relationship is becoming miserable (or worse, unsafe).  I call it silent abuse, because perhaps nobody else is aware of it.  It could be it’s the way he talks to her.  And for some it’s the reverse; it’s the husband diligently trying to get the wife’s attention.

Whatever the matters are, there is a desperation in the communication for one of the partners, and the other partner just doesn’t seem to be aware of what’s going on, or worse, they refuse to listen, being completely ignorant to the consequences that are coming.  These refusals to listen, or the inability to understand, push the desperate partner to the brink of their tolerance and beyond it.  And the growing desperation creates desperate times which call ultimately for desperate measures.  Truth insists its voice be heard eventually.

Suddenly when there is a big fracture, the one who has been warned for a long time becomes desperate in response.  Their ‘journey’ is only just commencing.  Suddenly their attention has been piqued, but perhaps it’s too late.  On so many occasions, way too late.

Like two ships passing silently in the night, for many relationships Time is called.  For the one who never sowed into the relationship when they could, their grief is only beginning, whereas the one who gave endless opportunities has already grieved.  One can’t move on when for the other that’s all they can do — move on.

This could be a timely warning to someone reading, who is taking their marriage or relationship for granted, who is currently being warned, yet they’re not heeding it.  It could ring true for the person who is desperately trying to get through.  Theirs is a very common challenge, and much more common than they may care to realise.

How many relationships are like two ships passing silently in the night? — too many!

Every relationship coupling has its time and opportunity, and for those who don’t want to experience the grief of a relational tearing, it is wise to listen and respond now while the opportunity presents.

Perhaps as two ships are passing silently near each other in the night, one might be warning the other of an impending hazard.

To prevent both ships and relationships from running aground, there must be a way to navigate past and away from the hazards, whether they be shipping lanes, or the hazards known to human relationships.

Photo by Don Kawahigashi on Unsplash