Those we love are loaned to us

It happened while I was driving.  “Those you love are loaned to you one day at a time... you don’t know when that loan period will expire.”

Our dearest ones—our partners, our children, our parents, our grandparents, and grandchildren—are loaned to us.  We so easily assume that we’ll have them forever.  This isn’t the case.

And it’s not just death that robs us of these relationships, but it’s death I want to focus on, because it’s inevitable, and by focusing on death, we make the most of our lives in the here and now.

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If I had one last day to do what I love to do, THIS is what I’d do...

If tomorrow was my last day, and I had the choice of what to do, I’d conduct a funeral.

It’s quite an irony I find that I most love doing funerals and yet there will be an end in funerals for me when I’m the one in the casket.

Funerals are the most salient of all living experiences.

The honouring of a life, of memories shared, honouring loss and grief, being there with and for one another, saying what needs to be said, memorialising an unforgettable life; these are just some of the reasons funerals are important.

At funerals, people cannot escape that most inescapable of realities of life—death.

On my last day, it will be me in that box.  Think about that for one moment.  It makes you reflect on what’s important in life.  I carry thought of my death with me most if not every day.  It influences many of my choices.

I will be the only one at my own funeral who’s not alive.  Everyone else there will be there to say their goodbyes.  And those who love me most will have difficulty saying goodbye, such is the impossibility of grief to reconcile satisfactorily.   And the reality of difficulty around saying goodbye shouldn’t be frowned upon.

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Death gives life it’s meaning, if only we can view the whole of our lives, every single aspect, through the lens of, “This life is fleeting.”  Through the lens of death, perspective is granted.  We live wiser, more compassionately, sweating the small stuff just a little less.

If that loved one of yours isn’t going to be around for ever, what can you do to make the most of the moment?  Let’s not fall for the folly that everyone who’s here will remain indefinitely.  Cherish the time you have with them.  Make right what you’ve done wrong.  Set records straight.  Seek the forgiveness of those you’ve wronged.  Have those conversations you’d regret otherwise not having.

Make the most of the time and opportunity, now, while you have it.