Friday, February 18, 2022

“What just happened, and what do I do now?!”


There are times in all our lives when something happens, or someone does something that leaves us so astonished that we cannot reconcile it and we just don’t know what to do.

When it’s a life situation like loss, and there’s nobody to blame, I’m not sure if that’s easier or harder than when it’s somebody who’s infracted us or someone we care about.

We’re certainly understood and forgiven for reeling in situations that leave us bereft for an answer to reconcile it.  What DO we do?  One thing we can do is reach out to a wise advisor or two.  That in itself is an action of faith, to surrender sensitive situations to a trusted mentor.  Yet, having sought guidance we still have to decide what to do.

It’s a travesty really when people do things that shock us, but just as much it’s a travesty when life rocks us.

The first thing we must realise is it’s okay to be shocked, and it’s okay to be rocked.  It’s happened, it’s occurred, and so to feel numb or angry or hurt or dazed and overwhelmed is understandable.

Better than to give way to emotional responses, however, is just simply to record that it’s understandable to be beyond a good and worthy response in the moment.

As we reconcile what’s happened in the hours and days after, we toss and turn back and forth in what to actually do in response.  It’s good not to pressure ourselves into a decision, even though to come to a decision may be an irresistible urge.

It’s understandable if we find ourselves betwixt and between, not knowing just how to respond, finding that we’re in an avoid-avoid situation where none of the options open to us are attractive.

Holding this tension takes a lot of courage, mostly because we find we don’t have an out.

Being stuck in indecision, however, is innately stressful.  Peace comes when we’re out of the valley of decision, yet the decision needs to be a wise one, and others who are wise can help us as they affirm and support us throughout.  So don’t hurry it, but don’t get into analysis paralysis either.  Taking a day or two longer to decide is often very wise.

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