Prayer for International Bereaved Mother’s Day

Our Lord,

We are thankful for the blessings of children in our time, though we have not always appreciated this gift.  We confess we have not always acknowledged bereaved mothers.

We are thankful that there is now a place in our calendar—the first Sunday in May—that acknowledges women who have suffered loss through infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death, or the loss of a child of any age.

Especially for mothers who have not been blessed with a child, at this time at least, Father, we ask that Your peace, Your hope, and Your comfort would be palpably felt by them in a tangible way; for their healing and wholeness.  That in their sorrow and bereftness of soul, they would feel SEEN by You.

For mothers who have been graced with a child after loss, we praise You, our Father, for Your provision in their lives, whilst acknowledging the losses they have suffered are not diminished in any way.  That children lost are always preciously grieved for the rest of one’s life.  We pray Your comfort and Your peace for the mother and their family who has not been graced with a subsequent child.  Give in this ambiguous loss and complicated grief a comfort and peace that transcends all human understanding.

We include in this prayer, Father, those who have not lost a child but whom have not had the child they desperately have tried to conceive, whether there are other children or not.  We ask that they would feel seen by You, too.  And for all women who identify with having never had a child—who feel excluded from the concept “mother” who would dearly love to be included—we pray their identities are filled as mothers-of-spirit.

We are thankful that every loss—whether actual or felt—is equally significant, as is every life, and for a loss to be grieved is for a loss to be honoured, each loss sacred and eternal.

For mothers who have lost a child, we ask, our Father, that You make for them a place of honour for what they have suffered.  We ask, where possible, Father, to compensate them somehow by Your compassion that they could experience Your compassion such that they could give Your compassion to others, when and as they feel strong enough.  Make them esteemed ministers of eternal compassion if that is their wish for Your sake.

Finally, Father, we ask that You would help us all accept just a bit more what cannot be changed, the mysteries of life that seem so cruel.  Help us to know that You feel ever more distraught than we could ever feel because of our losses.  Help us to trust You.

AMEN.

* * *

Many women cannot identify with those who dearly enjoy Mother’s Day—the second Sunday in May.  Their own losses, inability to conceive, and fractured relationships with their own mothers or children are but a few reasons.

On May 7th, one week before Mother’s Day, there is a very special annual International Bereaved Mother’s Day.  This is a prayer for those women, and for other women who struggle with Mother’s Day; those who struggle with Mother’s Day for any reason—it’s a day when your pain is acknowledged and recognised.

For those who love Mother’s Day, like me, May 7th is a good opportunity to take a moment to think of and pray for those for which the concept of Mother’s Day causes pain because of all varieties of loss.  Even on Mother’s Day, let us hold space for those who suffer just because it is Mother’s Day.

International Bereaved Father’s Day likewise occurs the week before Father’s Day and is the last Sunday in August.

IMAGE: my wife’s hand holding the feet of our stillborn son, Nathanael Marcus (2014).