The very first marriage counselling session is vital for setting the stage for the journey that ought to be the marriage repair that the couple require. Some are tune-ups, and some are overhauls, and some, I’m afraid to say, are salvage for the scrapyard. But there ought always to be hope for some form of reconciliation for peace, whatever the state of any relationship, together or separated.
Naturally, the couple will be keen to dive right into the present issues, particularly to deal with dysfunction around communication and conflict resolution. But, believe it or not, there’s something more primary.
Surely, we will discuss much more than the following dozen points of an unexhaustive list, but we must have some structure to be guided by God by; structure gives purpose and hope; it sets direction; it gives us something to trust as we seek God for the help only the Lord can provide.
I’ve learned the need for structure the hard way; when I trusted a process of guiding couples without structure and did them and I and God a great disservice. So, structure is necessary. It is the guiding light of God’s holy wisdom.
Here are some of the general points that need to be part of the first session, in no particular order: