This is an ugly and uncomfortable, inconvenient truth. To put it
in a modern way, it sucks.
God
doesn’t
change
our
circumstances.
doesn’t
change
our
circumstances.
If we’re in a season of grief for any reason, life ordains that
the journey is designed to break us in either of two ways: brokenness becomes
hope through endurance, but it is nonetheless a putrid journey, or brokenness
becomes resentment through despair.
This article is about the choice we take in choosing which side
of the dividing line we’ll fall.
Psalm 13 was emblematic of my initial grief journey, a voyage
into the uncharted territory of loss where maps just didn’t exist. I was given
the compass of good counsel. I had the desperation of a soul sick without God.
I was fed on the hardtack of rejection. I grasped the wheel of discernment
daily, and many days wrecked me by failures to read the turns. So many days I
wished that God would break through upon the horizon to release me from the
hell of my circumstances. He never did. Grief was unabating, just more sea mist
broke over my bow as my craft plunged through the waves that bludgeoned my
soul, bringing me to repent without strength again and again before the Lord.
Sails tethered by ropes gnarled by long service, my rigging was battle weary,
those sails ripped in places, yet the winds blew as tenacious gusts
incessantly.
But the voyage was necessary to teach me
something I could not have otherwise learned.
something I could not have otherwise learned.
It’s so hard to keep going when the hope of the horizon
continues to fail to meet its initial promise.
continues to fail to meet its initial promise.
Grief causes us to abandon our perception that God can be used
for material blessing. The nature of grief is we must hold to a promise that
won’t come true, but in holding to that promise, which is the alleviation of
our suffering, we make it through… as Churchill said, ‘if you’re halfway
through hell, keep going!’
God uses our grief to teach us He is more than a giver of
release, of blessing, of comfort. He is more. He is Sovereign. He is just. He
is all-powerful, all-knowing and all-wise. We control nothing. We have partiality.
In grief, we’re powerless, so limited in our knowledge and wisdom.
We never have any idea what we’re missing
before we sail the intrepid storm of grief.
before we sail the intrepid storm of grief.
It’s good that we finally arrive at the ports of acceptance
along the journey to the ultimate destination.
along the journey to the ultimate destination.
Those ports of acceptance are arrival points on the grace-growth
journey. Softly does the soul come to rest in the acceptance of what cannot be
changed nor controlled. A depth of spiritual maturity comes as a gift for
having no further demand of God.
What a blessing it is to become aware
how much we attempt to manipulate God.
how much we attempt to manipulate God.
It’s a very good thing that God will not change our
circumstances. He uses this to crucify the last vestiges of self in the
discipleship journey that brings us from the practicalities of death to eternal
life.
We think we know what we need, but our wants invariably are an
abuse of who God is. If we insist that God listen to us and do what we say He
do, we pretend we have a control we’ll never have, and we entertain a futility
that is stark in its madness.
So, at the precipice at the Valley of Decision, truth garners
the spirit, and compels the choice — for
God or against God. We think the
choice is about us. It is not. It never is. It never was.
Choose to go against the grain of our petty nature, and we do
what is necessary to move through growing in the passage way of grief to a
restoration better than we would have
once settled for.
Go the way of ease,
that is an ultimate hardship.
Instead, go the way of hardship,
which is the ultimate peace.
that is an ultimate hardship.
Instead, go the way of hardship,
which is the ultimate peace.
I cannot help but admit that the title of this article seems
hopeless.
But the very great truth is:
God won’t change your circumstances
because He wants to change your capacity.
because He wants to change your capacity.
If it wasn’t for our pain, we would never grow and mature. I
have known too many people, not least myself, who have been transformed because of their pain, because they
submitted to and trusted God.
We have to be careful, however, not to be transformed the opposite
way, in bitterness or through sorrow that breaks us, through insisting God
change the circumstances our very lives, in this season, call us to live.
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