Men, please understand a woman’s apprehension

Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash

The gender differences that are apparent because of the biological differences between men and women mean that, at least in general terms, women are more inclined to be apprehensive than men are, and particularly with regard to dealing with the opposite sex.

I say in general terms, because it is not something that’s across the board, for there are exceptions, but this article desires to communicate something to men about the women men are in relationships with.

This article may in some ways be hard for some men to read, and I respect that, because not all of us have had positive relationships with the women in our lives.

In my experience, there are men who don’t want to acknowledge the fact that there are certain gender differences that can put women at a disadvantage in conflict situations.

I know that women can abuse men, it’s just that 85% of abuse occurs the other way. And while men can feel demeaned and humiliated, women tend to feel intimidated and fearful, even terrified. This is not to say that men are immune from these feelings. It’s just more likely that a woman will feel petrified.

In general associations with men, women often feel apprehensive, and it’s not because men are untrustworthy, it’s just that it takes a little while for many women to feel comfortable. And that comfort level can only be maintained if the relationship with the male features trustworthiness.

Importantly, it is the woman
who must feel that the man is trustworthy.
A man can never insist
that he be perceived as trustworthy.
If that were the case
he would prove himself untrustworthy.

I can attest, as a husband, how easily the furniture inside my wife’s heart can be trampled. And it’s not even as if I am aware of it some of the time, until I find afterward I have been harsh and foreboding.

It’s a tremendous opportunity for men to partner with themselves in reflection, in understanding how we impact the women in our lives.

We men have the opportunity to not disparage women when they are realistically and sensibly apprehensive. From a man’s viewpoint, women can even appear suspicious of men’s motives.

But we must learn to trust the radar that God has given women in a world that does not deserve the implicit trust a man can foolishly demand simply out of his own interests.

From personal experience I find it takes diligence every day to respectfully care for the women in my life. This is never an area where I find I can relax. The women in my life mean too much to me for me to miss the mark without making adequate reparation.

To my mothers, wife, daughters, ex-wife, sisters-in-law, aunties, nieces, sisters-in-Christ, and to my female co-workers, I salute you and your lady friends for being women.