“Faith in God is a struggle in ordinary life. Faith in God when we have seen tragedy and trauma is a massive struggle. But it is a good fight because it is a fight against those things that tried to destroy us and make us like themselves.”
— Diane Langberg, PhD.
Some people subscribe to this, others don’t. I mean in a lived way. Others don’t see that life is a struggle, and those who don’t — when they also cause misery in others’ lives — tend only to struggle when the tables are turned, and the struggler says, “No more!”
It is said that the best form of resistance is survival, and it’s true. Those who struggle in the ordinary life do find ways to stay the distance, even if they sputter and falter occasionally; they do find a way to survive the tyranny that has become their life, and they even wrestle with ‘worse’ to make life better in the long run. They make tough decisions, because tough is how they do life. They’re not afraid of tough.
Those who tend to eventually say, “No more!” are usually those who have the gentlest of spirits. They may be tough — i.e. they CAN be tough — but they would NEVER take advantage of you. They just aren’t wired that way. They look at those who do with steely eyes and facial resolve even when they would prefer to be kind to everyone.
But these tender and kind people find themselves in constant contact with those who will and do take advantage. Their lives are characterised by accepting a struggle that assumes their fight will need to be ‘the good fight’ in keeping with Langberg’s quote.
Boundaries were made for those who insist upon their way over others, whether directly or by stealth. And there are operatives of both scattered through this world. Some even use both categories in a concert of menace to deal with those who get in their way.
The gentlest people feel mean for putting boundaries in place and those who would break boundaries know it, hence the presence of manipulation, whether overt (“I can do what I like to you”) or covert (“Nothing to see here”).
But as I say a lot, better to be aggressed than be the aggressor, and I would say, that though Langberg’s quote makes no excuse for abuse, it does offer the redemptive pathway where it inevitably occurs.
I understand that’s not much compensation. There is the need, however, of ways of thought and operating that give survivors of abuse a way back to hope.
Fight the good fight of faith. Don’t let adversity cause you to lose hope. Stay resilient in love. You will triumph over your adversity if you don’t give up.
Photo by Itzel González Lara on Unsplash
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