The older I get the more I think about a day to come: the day I’m no longer counted among the living. As I muse at every funeral I go to or conduct; one funeral closer to my own.
I think about such things daily, or most days.
It seems bizarre to me to be alive right now from the context of a time when I wasn’t or are no longer. Even if I live 100 years, far more of time passes where I either did not exist or exist no longer.
Yet life feels long. Ten years ago feels like a long time ago given how much my life has changed over that ten year period. And yet, the same could be said for the previous ten years. And the previous 15, which cover my entire adult years.
If I live another 30 years, depending on how I’m feeling from one moment to the next, there are aspects that that’s too long or not long enough. There are times when I’m resigned to the idea that this life is too hard — times of intense discouragement where I’m guilty of catastrophising. But there are the realities that once I’m gone, I’m eternally missed by loved ones left behind.
All this convicts me to ensure God is holding me to a short account with myself. I’m not getting away with anything. All will be revealed, all truth, in the time to come, how I treated people, including having to face my own predilection for failing love and courage (to mention only two). Am I afraid of this? I don’t think I need to be, I will inevitably face what I must face, but I also have the opportunity now to live as truthfully and as lovingly as I humanly can.
Whilst the nature of this reflection is personal, I’m hoping it gives pause to others to imagine what lies ahead, whether it’s one day or another 10,000 or more.
The nature of time is that it goes. Psalm 90:5-6 talks of human beings as grass, new in the morning, by evening dry and withered. Being a grandfather now, one thing I’ve noticed is getting up off the floor is harder than it used to be. All signs of a gentle but certain withering.
I watched an astounding video recently where a 92-year-old woman reflected over her life and remarked how the last thirty years went quicker than the first sixty. It’s sobering. We know that the seconds don’t actually tick by faster, but it seems like they do.
In any event, I trust in a good God and that ultimately the reality beyond this life is not only safe but beautiful — “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived — the things God has prepared for those who love him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9)
My apologies in advance for the mind-dump here. I hope there is some benefit to you in the few minutes you’ve taken to read it.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.