How do I make life work (for those who care)

In this life, we either care or we do not care, and that’s all that matters.  Our life’s legacy is in how we answered the question, “Do I care or do I not care”?

No matter how much we argue about it, some things about life will never change.  We cannot change this, just as we cannot change other people.  But we can change ourselves.

This article is for those:

·      who are converted already, 

·      who care but need a little help, and 

·      who do not care, to implore them to action.

FOR THE CONVERTED:

You are already won to the wisdom of caring about life, about others, and about your own self-care.  You are an emotionally intelligent person, a gift to those you serve and all those who know you.  You already understand the need to reconcile with people on an ongoing basis.  You already understand the importance and need of apology in owning your own contributions to conflict in maintaining good relationships.

You have discovered how to make life work.

I want to encourage you not to become despondent about the people who don’t care.  Just because you care doesn’t mean you’ve got control over whether others care or not. 

It is a vast, unparalleled wisdom that accepts 
we can’t change or even influence others.

Accept this, and you have truly grown in the wisdom.

You have the answer to the meaning of life.
Celebrate this by exercising gratitude 
for this that you know and live.

FOR THOSE WHO CARE BUT NEED HELP:

In the vein of the above, I imagine you are in relationships where there are perilous struggles, because you are dealing with people who you cannot reason with, who are entitled, have no empathy, or exploit people and situations, or otherwise, who don’t seem to care.

The first thing I’m going to suggest is, it is good to take stock that YOU care enough to want to relate with people positively.  That’s the most important half of living a life that works.  The other half is about accepting we cannot change people. 

There are people you are in conflict 
with who may never change.

But that’s not the end of the story.  There is space for peace, even in these relationships, and we can do more in lowering our expectations about others we cannot impact.  

One thing we can always do is allow people 
to experience the consequences of their actions.

It is good to love all people with the truth.
Indeed, engaging with people truthfully IS love.

FOR THOSE WHO DON’T CARE:

I don’t for one moment pretend that there are people who don’t care who will read this.  Notwithstanding, I am compelled with all that’s in me to appeal to the person who does not care.  

I can tell you that, if you do not care in life, nothing in life will serve you, even if you think life itself exists for you, and you alone.  Please read that again and reflect on it.  

Even the capacity for reflection is something that will benefit you, and you alone, and of course those you are in relationship with as well.  This may not motivate you much, or any at all, and it may even demotivate you, that you might do something that might be of benefit to somebody else.

Allow me to make a prediction for you.  If you continue not to care, life will not serve you, and indeed life and people and situations will all conspire against you.  You will not win.  I’m trying my best to motivate you with the truth.  I’m appealing to your sense of entitlement; entitlement to get what you think you deserve, which is a good life.  Care for others for a selfish motive (for all I care) and you will find that life will tend to work out better for you that way.  

Just genuinely test this for three months and see how it works, and you’ll find it does work, because it is a wisdom of life.  You might even find others reciprocating, and you may find that you will prosper from their genuine care.  You may even experience true love, and I’m not talking about the romantic kind, here.  Love is much, much more than the intimate and erotic kinds.

Let me finish with this:

True love is about giving 
to another because we want to.  

There is nothing more important 
in life than doing this.  

Indeed, it is what life is all about.  

Nothing else matters like the love of caring.