Observing Our Partners

YOU’RE AT A PARTY AND YOU’RE CLASSICALLY BORED. Whilst your partner is having a wow-of-a-time, you just want to go home; it’s not your cup of tea at all.

But there’s an additional problem. Not once do they connect with you; that you’re feeling very bemused about it all. You’ve tried all the subtle and not-so-subtle body language, from quiet sighs to squirming, and it’s just not registering.

Knowing this scenario has happened to you, what are you going to do the next time the shoe’s on the other foot. Seek revenge by ignoring your partner?

Of course you’re not. (Well, I hope you won’t.)

It’s the ideal stimuli to start to observe our partners more because you hated not being noticed.

As couples we have to remain together. It’s far better to keep one eye on the action at the event and the other on our partner. At the first sign of boredom, disinterest or any other ‘hassle’ in our partners we should reunite and pool thought on plans for the immediate future.

We can do this physically by shifting closer to them.

We can do this mentally by re-establishing more continual eye contact.

We can do this emotionally by having empathy for what they’re feeling.

Relationships are about the twosome. They’re not about one person getting their own way most of the time. When we act in faith to re-connect we send powerful messages of respect to our partners. And we can have faith too that this respect, in its own way, will rebound—not that we expect same.

It’s a simple activity of caring perception to keep observing our partners in social situations—to maintain the spiritual ‘partnership’ connection. This is certainly part of our role as faithful partners.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.