“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it...”
― Nicholas Sparks
THERE is a softening that occurs to a heart that has been burned by betrayal or lambasted by loss, if that heart can receive from God, divine empathy, and the right sort of support from our peers; those who may take the role of mentor. These two conditions help. And from heartbreak to healing we can traverse, in conjunction with time to adequately adjust to the grief in the loss.
Receiving Divine Empathy
This is primary. To receive from God is the greatest need. It seems mysterious for many people to connect with God. But when we are truly broken within, we can receive him who, within us, makes himself known as we may hear him – inaudibly, of course. The consciousness of our minds perceives God.
Truly, God operates so close to the action in our hearts we may miss him, thinking he is ignoring us in our pain. God never ignores, and is, indeed, fundamentally present.
When we can, by faith, acknowledge that God is with us in our pain, we can cry out and receive what we so sorely need. As we sob there is the faintest of reciprocation. God is feeling into us. It may even make us sob all the more. Tears are nothing to be afraid of. God is using them to heal us. This is a most intimate connection. We only have to experience it once and we are won to the idea of such a close connection with God. This is an eternal transformation. We will never be the same again.
Support is vital, but not the sort of support that is sympathy – that takes only our side. Though it feels good for someone to take our side, it’s fundamentally wrong. What we need is someone who will hold a balance for us; a reliable guide; someone disposed to listening and holding us in the centre of their universe for the times we are in their presence.
Sometimes a guide will listen. At other times they speak. But the words are less important than their presence. Walking with them, doing things, and just having them pray for us – whether with them, or apart – is the essence of the support we need. We just need to know they have unconditional positive regard for us. We appreciate their sense for godly wisdom that judges not and operates gently in all contexts.
Heartbreak can be converted into healing by two things: to receive divine empathy – to experience the Presence and the healing touch of God – and to receive the empathic support of a guide. We need God and we need others who have our best in their minds.
© 2014 S. J. Wickham.