As the end of a crazy year begins to creep up on us, so many are feeling the pinch. Exhaustion is as unmistakable as it is unrelenting. This time last year I had no idea the abyss I was going to descend into because of how hard I’d pushed myself. This year my vocational/work life is even crazier, so I’m attending to my capacity levels more proactively.
Some of the best advice I ever got on burnout was from Dr Keith Farmer. Exhaustion was his biggest warning, particularly for ministry leaders. In an unprecedented year, everyone has due reason to stand up to attention on this topic. For some, it is literally the difference between life and death.
Fatigue that meets exhaustion is fatigue that perhaps hasn’t been detected. It springs up suddenly and if we don’t pick up the warning signs worse will come. Fatigue seriously compromises our mental health and wellbeing, and many of the worst outcomes in life are directly or indirectly related to genuine exhaustion.
Here are the signs I see in myself just before I begin to seriously limp:
1. The mind begins to say ‘no’ – this can often come out as frustration and resistance. We continue to do what is required but begrudgingly. Perhaps the fuse is shorter than normal. This is a sign that you’re pushing too hard, too much, too fast.
2. The body gives warning signs – we feel fatigue in very physical ways. Doing things in our own strength for too long will leave us physically drained as well as mentally, emotionally and spiritually whacked.
3. It might sound obvious, but tiredness – I can operate on six hours sleep, but night after night of only barely that and I begin eventually to run ragged. It makes no sense to say stoically, “I can function on 4-6 hours sleep.” The science says otherwise.
4. There’s not enough time to do what you enjoy – this is a good sign to watch for. When everything is drudgery, and you’re going through the motions, exhaustion has already set in. When there’s nothing to look forward to, exhaustion lurks silently behind it.
5. A lack of resistance in enforcing boundaries – at just the time when we need to be defending our boundaries, when we’re exhausted, we don’t have either the stamina or inspiration to resist. We’re easily steam-rolled into doing more not less.
6. Mental health concerns – a very great amount of anxiety and depression comes from the learned helplessness of fatigue and exhaustion. In fact, sometimes other mental health concerns can actually mask real burnout. When I descend, I can get irrationally irritable (based in the perception of seasonal helplessness); that’s usually my cue that rest is overdue.
These are plans we can put into place to rectify the above:
1. Learn to trust what your mind says, and don’t underestimate the link between your heart and your gut. The mind extends past your brain. When your attitude is ‘no’ it’s a warning sign. Rather than criticise yourself, give yourself space and room. If you don’t look after you, who will look after those you’re called to care for?
2. Get into conversation with your body by becoming aware of pain, stiffness, soreness, muscle fatigue etc. Good health suggests we’re in conversation with what is happening in our body, mind, soul and spirit.
3. Do your body and being a favour and get seven good hours of sleep each day as much as you can. Maybe you have a sleep disorder. Make up in other ways. Learn to nap. It took me a few years to master how to nap. One of the best things I ever learned! And go with your body. If you need to nap, nap!
4. Get past the age-old excuse, “I don’t have time to do what I enjoy.” Challenge yourself and your perception. Start planning two weeks ahead and plan in four chunks of time that you’ll agree to use for those things that replenish you. Others will then get the best out of you. As Dr Farmer would say, we must find time to do what replenishes us. Anything we truly enjoy. This is what I call sabbath. At times I find being still and silent helpful, but I like to rest by doing enjoyable things a lot of the time.
5. Providing resistance in terms of gently and politely reinforcing boundaries is empowering. You may only need to reinforce a few time/task-related boundaries to feel like, “I do have control over what I do and when.”
6. At the earliest sign of a dip in life satisfaction, take those signs seriously and get to your doctor. Anxiety and depression are treatable. Exhaustion only dissipates if we get the rest we need. If necessary, start today.
Photo by Kinga Cichewicz on Unsplash
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