Waking per normal I got our son up and prepared for the day; got his and my
breakfast prepared – him helping as much as a fifteen-month-old can. Later we
went into wake Mum and all seemed fine. We left her to dress and I forgot about
things for a considerable time. Then it dawned on me, where is Sarah? Our reconnaissance
mission revealed Sarah still putting on her shoes... weeping.
I asked, “How are you feeling?”
“Everything’s surreal... it’s a
surreal normality... nothing’s happened yet, but we know it will,” she said,
wiping her tears with a tissue.
Waiting for the gale force winds and the storm
surge has a grating yet stale eeriness about it. There is the sense that
nothing’s changed, held together with an equal yet opposite feeling – everything’s
changed.
We wonder if feeling the baby kicking is a
positive sign when we know that it is fighting for its life. We have a flurry
of text messages and a plethora of social media communication coming in – all so
loving and supportive – wishing us the best and most encouraging – but there is
the reality that this is a journey we alone must take. We have enjoyed more
time in each other’s presence in the last few days than normal, and still we
don’t have enough of each other. Hugs and cuddles have become more frequent.
All positives. Yet there is the unstinting element of what’s still missing –
the full truth – the full prognosis – the full weight of our baby’s plight. We
enjoy laughs like we normally would, but there is an undercurrent to our
thinking that won’t go away.
Somehow we know that the pain is ahead of us.
We pray before our Lord, joining the many others, in praying for a miracle; for
hope that growth and development might continue without vital, structural
compromise. We have non-Christians praying for us. Everyone is wishing us the
best.
Yet, the reality remains to be known. We have
the very best medical professionals to journey with – so thankful to God are we
for that.
***
As the
storm clouds gather innocently enough,
The ocean
surge resisting until time’s just right,
In stilted surreal
normality we know it’ll be rough,
Even as we watch
the storm roll in before our very sight.
The structure
of our stability is our situated faith,
We know
through the ravaging storm we’ll be alright,
Our faith upon
the Lord is perfectly safe,
He will keep us in this, even as we fight.
© 2014 S. J. Wickham.
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