FOLLOWING on
from the previous piece — When Loneliness Meets God — I have found
something contemptible in my existence.
When I sit down
and stare into space there is a loneliness that fills my heart. When I am
devoid of activity and simply sit there and be, I am faced with my own
mortality and being. I am faced with a person I cannot get away from. And I am at
once both troubled and relieved. It is a surreal experience, that experience of
existence.
Tapping into
this experience, though it might sound anachronistic, given we live so we might
as well live, is fundamental to knowing who we are; we need God.
When we know we
need God we then have no reason to hide from anything. Even the darkness, in
all its vicissitude, cannot scare us when we have nothing to hide from.
Most of us want
the power to be able to engage freely with anyone. Engage with God,
authentically, and engage with yourself, truly, and there you have it. We then
have the capacity to look anyone in the eye with the want to be there!
***
A certain sense
for loneliness follows us all through the lifespan. It is not an unhealthy
thing to know that we are missing something. Even when we believe in God, that
missing piece is not given to us. We wait upon a final redemption when all
things are made new. Until then we carry about in our bodies this loneliness
that the mind must grapple with, if our mind is to live abiding to what it must
wrestle with.
If we love God
we will love truth.
God has infused
a longing in us to know him (Ecclesiastes 3:11). To deny him is to deny our
loneliness, and to deny our loneliness is to deny our very selves.
The key to
healing is to endure the pain of the loneliest moment. If loneliness cannot
scare us, because we know and can access God, then nothing can threaten us.
It is up to us
to embrace a thing that we cannot change as we live and breathe.
God gives us the
fortitude and the reason to do it.
We sit and wait
in a quiet moment with ourselves. And God affirms what we are doing. “I am in
you,” says the Lord, by his Spirit. “I am in you, so take heart, for the best
is still yet to come!”
© 2015 Steve
Wickham.
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