Cherishing the Child Within

We’re surrounded by people. Life wouldn’t be life without relationships. They make our lives happy and miserable and all between. What if there was a simple way to increase our understanding, empathy, and patience?

One way of being more understanding of people, generally, as well as being more content in our relationships, ourselves, is to imagine and see the child within every person we meet and relate with—including ourselves.

Each and every person we encounter is subject to the same challenge: we find ourselves emotional, and therefore back in our child states, in a flash.

Even the most emotionally intelligent of people cannot escape this psychological link with their past.

Cherishing the Child within Our Children

Whenever we think of the child within each human being, our thoughts stray sublimely to the children in our midst. We want to observe them with a fresh appreciation.

In this mindset—empathy for the vulnerability of the child within human beings—we immediately have copious compassion, and we may even be given to guilt for less compassionate times of the past.

The truth is when we were less than compassionate we, too, were in our child states.

Cherishing the child within our children is appreciating the unique challenges of being more-or-less hemmed in to the child state.

Cherishing The Child Within Adults Around Us

No matter whom we encounter, encompassing position and privilege and poverty, chances are we are dealing—at least occasionally—with people stuck, by the situation, in their child world.

It’s a very common, many-times-a-day type of thing.

And as we include within our thoughts that people are products of their environment, ‘victims’ (or benefactors) of their personal history, a newfound compassion sweeps before our understanding. Suddenly, patience with others is not so hard. They are how they are for a reason.

Cherishing The Child Within Ourselves

If we can be compassionate with our children and with other adults, why are we not compassionate with ourselves? There are many in this boat—those taking humility too far; guilt, for one thing, convicts some that everyone’s worthy of love but themselves.

This is bad thinking. It rejects the child within, and that is a travesty for anyone.

The greatest possible favour anyone can do for themselves is to embrace the journey towards self-love, and that can only be found, truly, within the scope of God’s love for us.

***

Every single being deserves to be loved. To be truly loved means to love the child within—the utmost weakest and most vulnerable characteristic that exposes us. Love finds its way into the heart of every being that feels safe. Understanding people to a point where they feel safe with us is cherishing the child within them; the essence of their vulnerability. Then we can love them. Then we, too, can be loved.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

The Depths of Forgiveness

“... for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.”

~Matthew 26:28 (NRSV)

Free to anyone—upon acceptance of God’s forgiveness for their sins, and a responsive act of, and ongoing commitment toward, repentance—is salvation; though it was, is, and will never be cheap.

Forgiveness has the same effect: the bliss of grace for all. But it is not cheap.

It cost our incarnate Lord his earthly tenure. What was intended by Satan to kill God worked precisely to the reverse—it liberated humankind; anyone prepared to exemplify true forgiveness.

Forgiveness is about liberation; not simply for one party, but for both or all concerned regarding the conflict.

Blood, sacrifice, and redemption are connected all the way through the Old Testament and, indeed, they signify today the very same thing. Whenever forgiveness is to occur it will be costly—it will require ‘blood’ and our sacrifice—in order for the redemption of relationships: the forgiveness of sins: a clean slate.

Entreating the Depths of Forgiveness

Most people will have great difficulty with the practice of forgiveness; the depths of forgiveness are lucidly sparing in the context of our typically brash humanity.

The precious humility of Jesus, realms beyond our skinny understanding, is not found easily, and it makes itself invisible unless we come bearing the sanctity of unconditional surrender.

Forgiveness is not about us; it’s about God.

The moment we truly and desperately become ensconced to establish the purity of the practice of forgiveness, the time when surrender before God becomes intrinsically essential, is the instant the meaning behind a blood-spilt sacrifice becomes more fully known and appreciated within our inner beings.

Such forgiveness, just like grace, is not cheap. We must beg for it if necessary.

The depths of forgiveness, if we struggle to attain them, really have to be entreated to the point where our own selfish agenda is set aside unreservedly.

God loves such a heart—one so contrite it cannot set itself against the will and purposes of the Lord. When God receives such humble obedience we can know, in fathom-depths of faith, our Lord will bless us with powers of forgiveness so far beyond our understanding and explanation we will not be tempted to take credit; we will, instead, simply praise God.

Life Where It Hurts

Forgiveness helps most where life hurts like hell.

It is a miraculous outcome to absolutely shelve all thought of self for the greater gain of God—to maroon ourselves from the safety of caution, and martyr ourselves to pride.

Did Jesus truly want to drink from the Holy Grail? He did not; but, our Lord knew it was the only way to reconcile a seriously interrupted partnership: humanity with its God. Jesus chose to obey the Father to give beyond what even the devil could foresee.

Jesus gave. So must we.

If God is to win in our contexts, today, we must give—and that without thought for portions of our self-designed victory. In the completeness of forgiveness, the depths of love, is victory beyond the mind’s comprehension. We will never look back.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Love As I Remember It

The earliest memory of love was not of a person, or a way, or a particular method. Love transcended all that. It made us safe and strangely capable of life, even if for one moment.

Love, as we remember it, dug down deep into its Source, seemed back then to have existed eternally—we never knew of a time it wasn’t fundamental to our being; to life itself. Even if by abuse or neglect we knew love—by its absence.

Love has no face, no common technique, and certainly no rules. But, love is.

Love characterises life, for Love is better than life (Psalm 63:3) and life without love has neither meaning nor sense.

The Personal Observance of Love

When I recall love, even beyond specific memory, I know it to be friendly—it commonly never fails and it has no end so far as peaceable relations are concerned (1 Corinthians 13:8).

Love found its way into my psyche through God in my heart; the Divine Being purposed and pressed into the mind of every human being given to a moment’s interested surrender.

Yes, even beyond abuse and neglect, as they are commonly or uncommonly experienced, love makes its way known through absence or presence; yet, it—by our need of it—is always there.

As I would sit dreamily as a child, playing with my imaginary friends, love would be the first of my cohort.

As I would walk to school, somehow now dimmed from present memory, love would hold my hand, whether I skipped in joy or slunk along in self-absorption.

In those embarrassing times of my childhood, and indeed those today, love stands there defiantly assisting me to pickup the pieces.

It filled me with euphoria when fortune favoured me in bravery. She shielded me from fear, giving me enough hope to get through that near-and-dear present challenge.

Love carries us through the entire line of experience; the complete string of first situation to last—all in continuous series; even in the splendour of sleep.

She advised me that wisdom was the way when I felt envious and given to rudeness, though I didn’t always listen to her. But, to refuse Love’s hand is to hate oneself in the moment, though we know it not because we are deceived in pride.

Love, oh Love: where would I be without you?

***

Love was, and is, and will be, my ally—mine and yours. Love is eternal; it proves and proclaims God.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Happiest Marriages – Sex, Loyalty, Generosity

According to a recent study, generosity, along with sexual intimacy and commitment, was rated in the top three predictors of “very happy” marriages; specifically of those married partners with children.

This may not be much of a surprise. Most people would predict that those three qualities would make the list.

Perhaps these qualities meet partners’ needs on various levels—commitment at the base, sexual intimacy the core, and generosity the cream on the cake.

The Firm Foundation of Commitment

This fact is surely a no-brainer, yet practicing loyalty by way of practical senses-of-sacrifice is, without doubt, exceptional.

Couples may stay together for decades, seeing out their vows till death do they part, but can their long-term commitment augment, in any way, the more important and abundantly relevant issue of day by day and moment by moment commitment? Where are partners when the chips are down?

Commitment is more than agreeing not to divorce; it’s more than keeping the vow of fidelity; and, it’s even more than sticking by our partners through thick and thin.

Commitment, as a firm foundation, is loyalty to one’s spouse as one might be loyal to oneself—in, and of, a rational mind. Who, of a sensible mind, would decry themselves?

The Flux Core of Sexual Intimacy

The engine room of marriage has to be located in intimacy, and the real brake horsepower quantifying such intimacy is the nuance of sexual intimacy; not ‘brilliant sex’ by any means, but partners immediately and conscionably comfortable with each other in the orientation of sexual play.

Trust and respect have no better basis than by expression in the bedroom; true sexual intimacy is achieved when marriage partners strive to discover in their partner what remains to be discovered; and, they serve each other.

Sexual intimacy, hence, introduces the topic of generosity.

What Makes Marriages ‘Very Happy’ – Generosity

The point of the cited article was to highlight the strong ratio of generous acts in so-called “very happy” marriages.

It may, on the surface, seem to be quite a blow for marriages where partners are not especially generous—they are more likely to not be uniquely satisfied and as close to perfectly content as can be.

But, knowing that generosity can make big differences in marital happiness outcomes motivates partners—even for initially selfish reasons—to outdo one another such to achieve such wedded happiness, themselves, personally.

***

We can trust the research. Predictors of very happy marriages are: high levels of commitment, deep and meaningful sexual intimacy, and wide applications of generosity.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Accepting the Paradox of Change

The flickering flame and the trickling waterfall captivate and soothe our imaginations demonstrating we are fascinated by change, until it brings hurt. Then change is a pariah; she is to be an outcast, despised for what she brings. That change is something to be avoided.

We want to watch and read the news, monitor the sports scores, and generally keep up with the comings and goings of life (gossip); change breaks with boredom and we are sucked in to such stimulation, until, by change, life begins to hurt.

“Not many sounds in life... exceed in interest a knock at the door.”

~Charles Lamb

Though we may hate the sound of the phone ringing, or a knock at the door, we cannot help but be intrigued as to who may be on the other side; until, the bearer of bad news appears.

Change is Bittersweet

Anticipation of stimulation is, somehow, what we grow to expect. We watch for the postman, ever hoping to receive that mysterious brown-paper-wrapped package through the post. Our anticipation tends to be positive, so we don’t anticipate change for the negative so well.

As change is inevitable it is also bittersweet.

Much positive change, which are times where there are choices to change, or times when privilege bestows herself upon us, can still bring nuances of discomfort. Alternatively, there is a silver lining to every negative change—if we choose to see it.

But, just as we so often can’t choose for change, where the change is made for us, it brings dimensions of both good and bad. Even when we choose to change we have to endure discomfort before we experience the exhilaration of goal attainment.

Change That Hurts Forces Adjustment

The reason we hate some change is, quite simply, because it forces us to adjust—we are, for a time, often indefinitely, out-of-control in that way; none of us enjoys having decisions made for us. Times like this we are tempted to loath God.

Forced adjustment—especially where we lose someone or something dear—and that’s more common than we realise—is the sort of change we most studiously avoid. Forced adjustment implies grief.

Suddenly, life is taken out of our hands and we feel as prisoners, bereft of hope for that portion of life, for a period or indefinitely.

What can be done?

We have the opportunity to adjust our viewpoint—to see such forced adjustment as the situation that has good about it, somewhere. There are times we struggle to believe that. Only will we believe when we see with our own eyes and feel it within our own souls.

And where there is no good in the change we can only accept.

***

Change is a thing that either enlivens or despoils our hope. The difference is choice. It’s a great skill of life to deal with forced adjustment solemnly; to go with the flow of change that’s out of our control. Hope drives such our way of living. Wisdom is ever prepared to harmonise impending cases and times of forced adjustment in hope.

We’d like to think we can take the good with the bad; but change, too, will test this. But, that is the challenge of life: to accept what comes, the best we can, come what may.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Love for the Weary

As I gently quizzed a friend who had lost her 26-year-old son, some four years ago, regarding the journey of her grief process, I asked the specific question: ‘What were some of the bigger challenges in adjusting to life without him?’ Her response surprised me somewhat.

She said that the questions and assertions of some people had hurt and frustrated her. My friend cited two examples:

Early in her grief, soon after the funeral, one person asked her how her husband was handling it all (he was the stepfather). Whilst my friend conceded that, for herself, grief was a self-absorbing situation-of-spirit, she could hardly believe the insensitivity of the person suggesting that she wasn’t looking after her husband well enough.

Another person said that it must have been a real blessing to her that her son was now released from his pain (he had suffered all his life from a debilitating degenerative disease). Later in the same conversation this person mentioned that she should “celebrate” such a fact. It might be needless to say, this caused the catatonically grieving mother further burden, not less.

How Do We Approach Others’ Suffering?

Sometimes we just don’t know how to approach situations. This is particularly the case when we don’t share the critical bond of intimacy—the acuteness of knowledge converted to tender loving rapport—with persons or people affected.

There’s a reason why we feel uncomfortable.

When we don’t know what to say perhaps that’s the perfect cue; we can still empathise through the concern of our body language. But words fail. And sometimes we still try too hard.

Even at other times we go out of our way to keep quiet when all the troubled person really wants is us to be just ourselves; unencumbered, free to talk, and break the ice to relieve the tension of the situation. Some light relief, in a caring context, can be such a reprieve from the harshness of grief.

There is no set answer to make our approach correct for every situation.

Simply Prepared To Love

As we comply with the needs of the moment, trying to not try too hard, our ears and eyes piqued to discerning the needs of the other, we may simply be prepared to love.

Love is a language all its own. Almost without thought, but strong in care, at its most definitive need, it transcends language, culture, and interpersonal history. It doesn’t try, but just sits prepared to give of itself.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

2011’s Ten Biggest, Most Memorable Events

What was the biggest event of 2011? The Japanese tsunami, the US or European debt crises, or the deaths of Osama bin Laden, Kim Jong-Il, Muammar Gaddafi, or even Steve Jobs? Or was it something else?

In a year where the world’s population reached 7 billion (October 31), Gregorian Year MMXI has revealed no less hype, drama and tragedy than we’re used to seeing. Perhaps in terms of enormity the following ten events can be considered (in reverse ‘countdown’ order of importance) the biggest, most memorable:

NUMBER TEN – NASA’s Space Shuttle Program Concluded

Atlantis’ last, Flight STS-135, concluded the final mission of NASA’s Space Shuttle Program when it lands back at the Kennedy Space Center on July 21. 135 missions were flown between 1981 and 2011. Besides its launching of space probes, satellites, and work with the International Space Station, the Program’s most memorable legacy might, unfortunately, be the 1986 Challenger and 2003 Columbia disasters.

NUMBER NINE – Twin Terrorist Attacks in Norway

The world is shocked when it learns of the 76 people killed in simultaneous attacks in Oslo and the island of Utoya on July 22. What is designed by the terrorist to divide the country actually unites it—in its grief. It compels many democracies to reconsider their approach to justice for such situations.

NUMBER EIGHT – Steve Jobs’ Death

Whilst the death of Steve Jobs (October 5) pales into insignificance when compared with other critical world events for the year, there is no question the impact such a death, and therefore his life, had over the world. Millions of tributes are written as the world laments the passing of a technological genius.

NUMBER SEVEN – Horn of Africa Famine

Somalia, Ethiopia, and Kenya are entrapped in a famine affecting the livelihoods of nearly 15 million people; the worst in 30-60 years. Various aid agencies work together in the troubled regions to assist as they can, and to promote the plight of these ultra-poor to the comparatively rich Western world. This crisis sickens several seasoned social justice commentators for the sheer size of the famine and resultant desolation and the comparative apathy of the world’s response.

NUMBER SIX – Muammar Gaddafi Killed

Reports of the October 20 death of the Libyan dictator stream into lounge rooms. It is a win not only for the local people, but for democracy and hope for the wider region and more global world. Just two months earlier, during the Battle of Tripoli, Libyan rebels ousted Gadaffi’s regime.

NUMBER FIVE – North Korean “Dear Leader” Kim Jong-Il Dies

On December 17, North Korean dictator, Kim Jong-Il dies of a heart attack aged 69. News breaks slowly over national television and filters into the international community within 48 hours as many brainwashed North Korean nationals enter into severe mourning. Soon the mooted successor emerges: Kim Jong-Il’s youngest son Kim Jong-Un. This event causes widespread interest and concern for regional and global threats because of political instability. A one million strong genocide and a one million strong army are the legacies of Kim Jong-Il.

NUMBER FOUR – US Debt-Ceiling Crisis

In late July, the culmination of 30 years of growing debt, together with the consequences of the Global Financial Crisis of 2008, sees the United States days from bankruptcy; as a result President Barack Obama engineers the Budget Control Act, 2011, into legislature. The US government bond is downgraded for the first time in the nation’s history.

NUMBER THREE – Osama bin Laden Killed

What is arguably the biggest event of 2011, for the sheer magnitude of one terrorist’s destructive legacy, perhaps the biggest influence over worldwide affairs in the first decade of the 21st century, is finalised on May 1. Bin Laden’s death brings an outpouring of emotion worldwide, significantly months before the 10th anniversary of the September 11, 2001, attacks.

NUMBER TWO – Impending Collapse of the Euro

The economies of Greece and Italy, among others, severely stretch the sustainability of the Euro. Momentous political and economic reforms are made as the Euro system teeters on the brink of collapse, which threatens to drag the world into a prolonged recession.

NUMBER ONE – Japan Earthquake and Subsequent Tsunami

The March 11, 14:46hrs (Japan Standard Time), 9.1 Magnitude Tohoku undersea megathrust quake, with an epicentre 70 km from dry land, at a relatively shallow underwater depth of 32 km, hits the mainland of Japan, via a tsunami, shortly after. The biggest secondary impact is on Sendai and the Fukushima nuclear power plant, initiating a protracted national nuclear emergency. At an estimated economic cost of US$235 billion, the World Bank rates it the most expensive natural disaster on record. Almost 16,000 people die, almost 6,000 people are injured, and some 3,600 are listed still missing, from 18 prefectures. Significantly, this earthquake shifts earth minutely off its axis.

***

Links to my analyses of 2010 and 2009 can be found here:

2010’s Ten Biggest, Most Memorable Events; and,

2009’s Ten Biggest, Most Memorable Events.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Acknowledgement: source information from various pages on Wikipedia.

Graphic Source: NewsandPhotography.com. Photograph of the March 11, 2011, Japan tsunami.

Resentment – Weapon Against the Self

A young civil servant takes his young family “North” to the isolated Pilbara region of Australia to serve the community. Their travel plans are wrung with hope and they arrive esteemed in expectation. Soon, however, buoyancy makes way for bitterness...

What he finds up north does not gladden his heart at all—all the promises they listened to are realised, empty, in a harsh land of disappointment. That is his personal experience.

Apart from the detractive conditions of work, his home living conditions leave much to be desired. Not that his wife or children are bothered; they’d be perfectly happy if only he was. Yet, he’s busy looking over the fence at the miner with a better house and year-round air-conditioning.

Our civil servant friend is seen recoiling in a rut of despair, but is too proud to admit the depressive episode that’s burrowed its way into his psyche.

There is no joy in their home. What should be a place of solace for the kids after school, and a treasure trove of blessing for the parents, quickly becomes lifeless at its best and excruciating at its worst. This is all because of resentment; feelings of envy at the apparent unfairness of the system with which he’s placed.

The saddest thing: this resentment is tearing away at the heart of the perpetrator, for anything that destroys the family by self-sabotage destroys, also, the saboteur.

What Underlies This Sense of Resentment?

What may seem a maddening set of circumstances, even as felt by the one given to resentment, is easily explicable; perhaps not the specific issue, but enough of a clue to troubleshoot a way out of such resentment.

1. What has happened in this young man’s formative experience that has him so much yearning for success? Whether he knows it or not, he has defined success, and when he fails to live up to it—worse by cause of others—he’s livid. The way out of this problem is honest reflection; an honest journey to why, and an honest journey to acceptance for the way things are.

2. Even with a quick look around at the family dynamic an honest man can see the potential for marital conflict, bitterness, brokenness, and ultimately destruction. Why is there not empathy in his heart for his wife and children? They have no control over the circumstances that bother their husband and father. The family is always more important than the depths of the situation confronting us. Perhaps guilt pursues him and he vacillates between resentment and guilt.

3. There may be no way of changing the circumstance that confronts this young man. He, therefore, must challenge himself to adjust or to make the bold move to adjust the entire living situation—his family’s happiness and overall safety depend on it. The wisdom of prayer is best enlisted before making any rash decisions.

4. Resentment, like a malignant cancer, eats at us from the inside out; we cannot see it happening except by the grating sense of frustration that fuels an unrequited anger. We fix the resentment or it will ‘fix’ us—and those results won’t be pretty.

5. The vehicle that is resentment is taking us, and our loved ones, to a darker place than we in our right minds would desire. It is a weapon against ourselves, for when we hurt the ones we love we hurt no one, from a personal viewpoint, but ourselves.

***

There is a way out of resentment. First, we must reflect over what threatens us by the situation we’re resentful over. Then, we must plan; making our way through to healing is a critical path. Finally, when we’re all the way through that journey, perhaps years on, we take some humble satisfaction that we’ve learnt something.

Resentments hurt those we love and are, therefore, a boomerang back at us. Better to go into battle for ourselves in grace than against ourselves in resentment.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Much Ado About Bullying

An eighth grader makes a silent plea on YouTube. He is scared, especially vulnerable, and desperate, but not without hope. As he makes his plea—to music, using display cards—he fights back the tears, then succumbs. Those 4 minutes and 37 seconds melt the heart.

This young guy acknowledges the hate pointed towards him. He can’t see why and, then, upon further reflection, he can. There is about the situation, within him, a level of recognised self-hatred. A tormented confusion reigns.

And that’s bullying—a nemesis that chases the person down, hunting for blood.

When Courage Is Difficult

It’s so easy for an outsider to say, “Defend yourself; give them back some of their own kind!” Anyone who’s been bullied knows it’s neither that simple, nor is it the warranted response.

The last thing a bullied person needs to hear is, “Defend yourself!”

Rather, what the bullied person might receive more solace from is the validation that aggression is never appropriate, whether to fight the bully or as a justification for the bully’s behaviour.

We need to validate the bullied by knowing just how difficult courage is in such tyrannical circumstances.

What to do, then?

Probably the only tactic that assists with courage in such challenging social situations is in diverting thought from the self onto others suffering the same indignities.

Selflessness is an easier way in reconciling courage than to fight is; it also buoys-up the self-concept—to advocate another person, voluntarily, is the gift of love that’s oh so rare. At once, it is courage, but twice, the gift of God to another ailing human being.

How much better to get alongside another person doing it equally, if not more, tough?

This is not about an instant reaction; it’s more about food for thought—allowing the mind of personal means the time in which to order and reorder its personal situation.

God for Those Reaching Out

We can know by the fact that we know ourselves intimately, more intimately than anyone else knows us, that God knows us.

One step further back, God exists, and if, at this stage, in no other way but via the sinew of hope keeping us alive.

Perhaps there is only one way of knowing God: being desperate enough to reach out; being still within ourselves enough to feel for Divine Presence; the sense of divine healing grace—just what is needed.

With God there is never an end, only hope of fresh beginnings. Each day is that beginning, even if that day feels much like the last.

God wants the bullied to know: you, like even the bully, are uniquely special in Divine sight. If you knew the power of God’s love for you there would be no hesitation of self-love. Most specifically, the Lord believes in you; a special future is planned for you—one you cannot see. God’s plans are never faulty, incomplete, or insufficient. Have faith and grow in faith—this, alone, will get you through.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Love’s Powerful, Vulnerable Grace

God’s home more in vulnerability than in power—at least by the way humanity defines power. The Bible continually exposes the humanity of its characters, Jesus included, as God has willed it this way.

Indeed, this very vulnerability is the power of God. Everything of grace is implicit of this immense power of love manifested in humble openness.

This power is greatly paradoxical.

Mary’s Vulnerability

Take, for instance, early teen Mary, the mother of Jesus.

“Pregnant virgin” might be an oxymoron to us, but those were the real biblical circumstances for Mary and Joseph, revealing the Lord’s vulnerability; the power in the Divine plan to construct a Christmas story wrought with real-life struggle.

As I was reminded recently, Mary’s vulnerable acceptance of the Angel Gabriel’s revelation (Luke 1:26-38) that she would be pregnant with the Saviour, pre-marriage, implied great harm—she could have been disowned by her family and by her betrothed, Joseph, and even stoned to death for apparent adultery. The event of pregnancy potentially threw her whole life into disarray. That Mary and Joseph humbly complied with the will of God is a miracle of vulnerability.

What a backdrop for the birth of Jesus!

Indeed, Jesus grew up in circumstances of alleged illegitimacy and, with Mary and Joseph, grew in faith as a result, knowing God’s plan intimately however much it was disparaged.

God exposed his Son, and his Son’s mother and father, to the scorn of derision just so he, as Jesus, could identify with the weakest.

The Vulnerability of Grace

We’re strongest with God, and most capable at life, when we’re found honest in our weakness; humbly vulnerable despite temptations to pride.

It’s a paradoxical strength to own our weakness.

It is strength for what this shows others; the vulnerable are consummate in grace and are never more capable of love and being loved.

Grace is bold and unafraid for the vulnerability it volunteers for the quest of others—so that they might be comfortable, assured, and at home with others as well of their selves.

Love’s strength is equally bold. It spends itself for others without thought of itself. In that way, love exemplifies faith, and a hope beyond foreseeable vision. This is because, for love, the quest for others is the key to life; without it, life is nothing.

God can be completely trusted in this: love is seasoned in a vulnerable grace that elects for others, first, over self. Perfect grace has nil self-interest. That’s vulnerability! That’s God!

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Acknowledgement: Pastor Anthony Palmieri, for his illustration of Mary, December 4, 2011.