When the winds of change blow chillingly upon our bodies, enlivening us to realities we’re going to find it difficult to bear, we’re faced with some jealously awkward prospects.
So, what will be our choice?
This is a subject we can all relate with. It’s all about the change we hate—those changes that come in without much notice; the ones requiring us to change our approach to the living of part or all of our lives.
What enters, then, is essentially the grieving process, for which acceptance is our goal.
We have three common response options (a fourth exists, but for the present discussion it’s unconscionable), as we gather pace toward our acceptance (given that not accepting the new situation is not going to do us much good at all).
‘FLOW’ – Go With It
This is perhaps our easiest default if we can achieve an acceptance of the situation quickly. And even if we can’t we perhaps fake it until we can make it. That’s a faith of itself, though only time will tell whether it’s a good or bad faith.
If we accept this way we’re to go—in the flow of the change, which is what our reality now requires of us—going with the flow is quite easy.
‘GROW’ – Be the Change!
Change Agent, come on down! This is the ideal situation for the person in us who can rise to the new challenge, no matter how daunting it presents as, and prove to others as well as ourselves that we have what it takes to ‘improvise, adapt, overcome’.
Not everyone, and not in all circumstances, can do this.
It certainly takes a blend of situational humility and tenacity to go this extra mile or two. It’s a commitment to growth, here, sometimes even against our temporal better judgment. We go with our gut and it often comes off beautifully, though at times it ends horribly. It also takes a lot of energy to go this way.
But, rich is the reward when we get it right!
‘GO’ – Onto a Better Pasture
Not all changes afford us this option but still many do. Workplace changes, for instance, can force us into an area of thought where we begin to browse the job advertisement columns with a bit more vigour and scrutiny.
It’s actually a lovely freedom to have this option at our disposal, but it usually has some very rich costs for us. It doesn’t usually work that well to jump from one undesirable situation into another, new one; many times it doesn’t work out. It’s a risk where we might actually stand to lose more than we’d otherwise wish to.
Departing from one reality to go into another is best done under circumstances we have control over.
There we go. The three options give us at least some feeling of self-efficacy over the changes that bully their way into our worlds.
© 2010 S. J. Wickham.