Imagine going to a social event
and feeling like just a face in the crowd when someone comes up to greet you,
introduces themselves, and invites you to share some information about yourself
with them.
You begin to tell them about your
work, your family, your interests, but then something unusual occurs; they
don’t turn to begin to talk about themselves, they seek more information on
you, because they appear genuinely
interested—and there’s no hidden agenda. It’s not like they’re prying or
anything—they sincerely want to know what it’s like to be you.
I don’t know about you, but this
strikes me as a very odd situation, but it is something that has happened to
me, and since it did, I have started to do it myself because I discovered
something...
The point is this: when we throw
ourselves into the practice of truly wanting to know what it’s like to be
another person, God seems to do two things: 1) our anxieties, for the moment,
become extinguished; and 2) we’re filled with a joy beyond our own
construction.
There is also another set of social
advantages: 1) we may truly get to know the other person much more intimately;
2) a bond may develop between them and us; and, 3) we prove God is real in the
relational space between the two of us.
Engaging Genuinely in the Other Person
It takes a lot of joy-bounded love
in our hearts to surrender our thoughts for ourselves long enough to dive into
another person’s world. We would much prefer to talk about ourselves than
listen to other people.
But hear this: a realm of relational
blessing—a blessing of connectedness enjoyed for two—stands to be gained when
we enter another person’s world. We might both gain.
Engaging genuinely in the other
person is agreeing with ourselves that we are not the topic of discussion; they
are.
Having made such an agreement with
ourselves we are now totally consumed with interest in their world and God’s
Spirit begins to show us many things we were not previously aware of. Our
perceptions are sharpened. We notice things about them we wouldn’t normally
have. And in all this we sense a connection probably very close to love. God
blesses us with a cogent sense of wellbeing.
Entering into Relationship by Faith
This is what we are doing: we are
entering into relationship by faith.
We are putting ourselves on the
back-burner long enough to deal with the other person much like Jesus would.
Jesus would be innately interested. If we are devoted to the idea of becoming
more like Jesus, entering into relationship by faith enough to enter another
person’s world will get us closer.
It’s an expression of faith.
How else are we to happily put
ourselves on the back-burner, than to enquire lovingly of another? It takes
faith to sow such threads of love, but in the right mind—our loving mind—we
redeem joy, and the Presence of God, as well as seeing the loving bonds that
are being created because the other person sees the authenticity of the Spirit
through us.
***
God’s love is made real when we
enter another person’s world with genuine interest; to understand who they are,
from where they’ve come from, and why. Listening without retort or judgment is
rare. But it’s even rarer when someone wants
to listen, and wants to get to know
us. God’s Presence is known when our love is shown.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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