If love were a person how would we
define its personality? There is indeed a very simple answer; from the person
of Jesus Christ—as God is Love—we may get to know the personality of love, from this
carpenter-come-teacher-of-life. The person who was both human and God
epitomised the character of love, and perhaps this love had one central quality
that, when nurtured, makes love what love is.
This character quality is safety; the ability to create within
other people this feeling of a safe haven through us. Certainly there was no
one who approached Jesus in humility who could have feared him. He was gentle
and humble in heart and dealt with people with kindness and grace—especially
the outlier. He was safe to be around. And the Spirit of God is safe to be
around today.
Our lesson, if we wish to be more
loving, is to become more accessible, more amiable, and genuinely safe to be
around.
We cannot be good at loving others
if there is any threat that they can hurt us. The way to get beyond being hurt
is to do our healing work with the Lord. Where we remain with any stones
unturned regarding our fears, failures and inadequacies the devil will get in
there and cause sufficient mayhem that we cannot be safe for others.
We cannot be safe for others
unless we are first safe for ourselves.
We have to emerge in ourselves
safe enough that little children would approach us without hesitation—and for
good reason. Too many children, however, have approached or been cajoled by
adults who are not trustworthy. Too many children are being, and have been,
abused. Of course abuse is the exact opposite of love.
The person who can love has done
their inner work to a point where they can be themselves without having need to
put on a mask.
The personality of love can be
described in one word: safety.
Safety is reliability, the appropriate caution, other-mindedness, and perhaps
most of all it’s what causes us to relax for appropriate reason. It would be no
good to relax in an unsafe environment.
***
The most loving of people are safe
to be around. They project safety by being approachable, amiable, humble,
appropriately fun-loving, and most of all real. They manifest the personality
of love, because they are so other-centred.
We cannot be safe for others, and
therefore loving, unless we are first safe for ourselves.
© 2013 S. J. Wickham.
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