DOMESTIC violence is one of those situations that’s difficult for a beaten down wife to extricate herself and her kids from. When she does plan to leave and finally executes the plan things often get much worse before they get better. The violent husband may attempt to follow her, and certainly there is the fear that this might be occurring. He is likely to be overtly resistant to her show of the ultimate resistance. From the conflicts that were played out silently and violently in their home, perhaps over years, even decades, these conflicts morph and take on a public persona. Suddenly, what felt like it could be a relief for her, and a new life, can appear to be just as (even sometimes more) threatening.
When we have had enough of a certain employer, we apply for a new position, and, in spite of some rejections, we finally win that role that sees us be able to leave the authoritarian employer. But starting a new job means building new relationships, learning new systems, and the inevitable self-doubting – “Did I do the right thing?” It takes us days, weeks, and sometimes months to settle in.
Things often get much worse before they get better. This stuns our expectations.
Sometimes things get worse,
Before they get better,
We need to trust today,
Perhaps more than ever.
Having commenced a journey into something new – having taken a risk to get to this point – we can only be blessed, in the ultimate sense, if we don’t turn back.
That can mean even more trust than that which was employed originally.
Riding High on the Wings of Faith
Knowing that life often gets more complex before we can engineer out some of the complexity means we will need to be tolerant of our circumstances, others, and ourselves.
Expectations are the key. If we can expect less of our circumstances, others, and ourselves we will stress less. We will take upon ourselves the kindness of experience, the grace of acceptance, and the courage of doing what we can.
When our expectations are no longer the blockage – the cause of unenviable frustration – we are then able to simply step; that is, to do so by faith. Faith, in this way, is nothing complicated or elaborate. It is a very simple idea. We just keep going.
Despite the fact that things may appear to be getting worse, we have faith that we have taken the right action. We have to believe it or our anxiousness may present us with self-doubt in the presence of the initial worsening of our circumstances.
Things often get much worse before they get better. This is a test of our faith to keep doing what we decided was wise in the first place. It’s about not losing sight of where we are headed, whilst not continually looking back at where we came from.
© 2014 S. J. Wickham.