Arguments are averted, especially with our children, when there is the respect of space between parties – not just time space – but the space of tolerance, the space of reason, and the space of grace.
Not every battle’s worth fighting over,
And it’s true that it’s wise to pick the issues,
Because if we don’t there will be much regret,
And possibly the need of many tissues.
Keeping the Family Home Established in Perspective
Everyone has such a unique perspective; parents, each one, but also children. Every family member is a thinking, feeling human being, so it is in ignorance that a parent or caregiver usurps control over what even God doesn’t ordain for a parent to take from a child.
Loving discipline is an important role, but there needs to be a balance.
There is no sense in exasperating children – certainly it is unbiblical (Ephesians 6:4, for instance). There is no sense in being flippant or arrogant as a parent – as if, because you were badly treated as a child is any decent rationale for handling your kids, because it isn’t.
God has given parents (and step-parents) the role of maintaining order in the home, and that can only be achieved if every member of the home is granted equivalency of respect; the human right. Once this is achieved there will be far less discipline problems, because the children have little reason to rally against injustice – there is much less injustice to speak of; a parent-initiated injustice.
Just a little space makes a great deal of difference in the home. If each member of the household is granted equivalency of respect, the household functions as it should and love can be given and received.
We need to determine the battles – the issues – we will fight over. We need to determine by what rules we will fight. But when an underpinning of respect is ushered as a premise within the fight, there is a sense of productivity to the conflict.
When there is the equivalency of respect for each family member, parents are honoured, trusted and respected. It’s a long road, but it starts now if we have previously not taken it. Respect is earned, no matter who we are, so it is good if we, as parents, can get over our demand that our children must respect us. Make it so they can only respect you because yours is a wholesome respect of them.
© 2014 S. J. Wickham.