The heart to forgive my ‘enemies’
has often eluded me. I am no stranger to feeling bitter, resentful, and bent
out of shape because of the ‘injustices’ meted out to me. Yet, I have also been
blessed with this insight: if I’m to overcome my bitterness, I must take
responsibility for my sin:
“If you forgive those
who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father
will not forgive your sins.”
— Matthew 6:14-15 (NLT)
Taking my own
responsibility for my contribution to the conflict is God’s chance to convince
me I’m far from perfect myself.
When I understand I’m
far from God’s holiness in my own behaviour, I’m much readier to understand
sufficiently the extent and power of grace that forgives me.
A lack of willingness
to forgive is a lack of understanding about the magnificence of grace. When we
withhold our grace we prove we don’t know or respect God’s grace.
***
Shaking the hand of
Jesus is about this vision: seeing the person I am bitter towards as not only a
person who Christ has stood for – and plead
for – before the Father, but seeing them also as my barrier to be overcome in order that I may be forgiven.
When we understand
that our bitterness sets us apart from the purposes of the Kingdom of God we
are quickly motivated to forgive. And we cannot do that unless we are able to
see how broken and sinful we, ourselves, are.
If you believe the
words of Jesus in Matthew 6:14-15 and yet you still intend on retaining your
right to withhold forgiveness, you are stuck in the mire of indecision – a massive
sense of cognitive dissonance, which is a kingdom divided against itself; one
that cannot stand.
When we recognise
that holding onto bitterness is a self-defeating strategy, we are inspired to
do whatever is necessary to bring the impasse to a close.
***
Imagine going to
your nemesis, looking them in the eye, friendly in your body language, and shaking
their hand. We are verily shaking the hand of Christ. The person that we don’t
forgive stands in the way of God forgiving us.
It’s much better to
make peace with those we are bitter with than to continue to defy God.
How much more should
we forgive than insist on remaining unforgiven?
Should we risk being
judged harshly by withholding our mercy? We should rather be full of grace.
Forgive and live.
© 2015 S. J. Wickham.
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