What It's About

TRIBEWORK is about consuming the process of life, the journey, together.

Sunday, October 9, 2016

You May Care, But Do You Care Enough to Be Kind?

“If you wish to know the mind of a person, listen to their words.
If you want to know their heart, watch their actions.”
— Lisa Prosen
Recently, a person I’ve mentored sent me a note on an anniversary of a particularly painful event in their life. Their times have now equalised, and it is apt to praise God. Suffering endured, resilience shown, support received. And it was to this support that was connected kindness — care. I shared the note with my wife because it was addressed to her, too. Immediately what came out of her mouth struck me: “Support isn’t support unless it comes with kindness.”
It was nice to know on this occasion that support had been received because of the kindness felt.
I’ve had people in my life say they cared, but never showed it in any tangible way. Apparently their few words were enough. Their ambivalence, sufficient? Their coolness, care? Their lack of kindness, my problem. Now, I know why people say they care but don’t. They don’t live the other person’s reality. They cannot, for whatever reason, extend past themselves. They don’t care because they’re not tangibly kind.
Those enduring adversity need support: the care of kindness, which is inevitably action-oriented, which can be words, but more often than not is more.
Support isn’t support unless it comes with kindness.
Care is felt through the action of kindness.
Nobody cares what we know until they know that we care, and nobody can tell if we care or not unless they feel kindness.
May God truly bless you as you support people by caring through your kindness,
Steve Wickham.

3 comments:

  1. I've often thought these thoughts and experienced them by being both a perpetrator, a giver and receiver. But have only realised in retrospect that I had actually been a perpetrator due to immaturity and maybe a detachment from their feelings and what they were going through; certainly not done with bad intentions. These are good things to ponder on and through maturity and experience we can come to these situations with more empathy,love and care.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've often thought these thoughts and experienced them by being both a perpetrator, a giver and receiver. But have only realised in retrospect that I had actually been a perpetrator due to immaturity and maybe a detachment from their feelings and what they were going through; certainly not done with bad intentions. These are good things to ponder on and through maturity and experience we can come to these situations with more empathy,love and care.

    ReplyDelete