The encouragement we give to others when we suffer or fail

Photo by Korney Violin on Unsplash

NOBODY likes to fail. We all like to succeed. But have you ever thought how much people are given to the blessing of empathy when we are exposed to suffering, and how much people are encouraged when we fail, when we show them we are fallible?

It is true. Being from divorce, I find encouragement, indeed community, in others that are from divorce. They have made similar mistakes to me. They also know the pain of marriage breakdown. They know the cost. Or, those who have experienced the loss of loved ones. For those who are suffering all essences of envy or criticism or judgment are vanquished; suddenly those who suffer are safe with us.

It may not be much of an encouragement to us when we are suffering that others are helped or relieved or inspired, but we know how much we have drawn from others when we see them endure.

When we fail, and especially when we are honest about our shortcomings, we give others permission to fail in the same way — with dignity. This is important, for we will all fail. It’s not an ‘if’, it’s a ‘when’.

When we experience misfortune, others can see that they are not alone in their misfortune. This is incredibly encouraging. This is also the reason we are better and stronger in communities like the church — over the long term we all experience loss and misfortune. Although it can feel like we are being targeted, life actually targets nobody. Loss and grief are common, give or take nuances, to all.

So, when we are given over to unfortunate circumstances, think of the encouragement we give to some, and think fondly of the empathy we receive from others.

We may find that all we need to do to change our mindset is to think less personally and more interpersonally.

When we have suffered or failed we experience what is vital to learn to encourage and empathise with others.