“LET’S just do this,” my wife said firmly, yet in a whisper quiet voice, looking straight at me. It was a moment in time when every fibre of me simply walked in unison with this most previous instruction. Five seconds beforehand, I definitely wanted to quit!
I did not want to do it, but again, seven years hence, she whispered me.
It’s the power of her wonderfully feminine love — she is persuasive when she is desperate. A husband who promised not to moan, who did groan, when she herself wanted every bit to have herself some of that action.
But she didn’t. She wouldn’t. For her, there is no purpose in bathing in defeat, though every sinew in her weary body was pulsating with pain. For her, there was too much wisdom to sacrificed… what, for folly?
Our mini-interaction highlighted what it is for all couples — a forwards-backwards land of compromise and acceptance.
How do partners in coupledom operate when they are both exhausted leading the family enterprise? Sure, they may bicker. It might be tense for a few minutes. But one soon stays quiet. The other, too, reflects. And the one who was harsh comes. They come in the mood of hope but inflected toward repentance. They turn the ship around with their confession. And, exhausted, they begin again, continuing the working together, giving their energy to the task of being one, whatever it takes.
There is one person I want to be with whether we’re exhausted or not. Love does not shift just because the season is arduous. Love bunkers down, does what is necessary, gets through, keeping the faith.