Keep the struggles
and suffering,
Behind
others’ eyes,
Ever
before you,
Such that
your own,
Are healed
by God—
Our God who makes all things new.
***
The motive for the wounded healer
is simple. They are ever thankful for the recognition of pain in others’
lives—a pain they must connect with. Beneath others’ pain reveals the pain of
the wounded healer; a pain they’ve learned to embrace.
As the suffering of the world is
kept firmly in mind, as is represented by what fallible human beings see within
their flawed perceptions, the wounded healer understands. They understand the
skewed, hypercritical and self-critical views. They know the hurt heart is
behind such views. Compassion is their response.
Why The World Needs Wounded Healers
Most of the people that are
attracted to pastoral positions have some aspects of the wounded healer
compelling them to minister God’s love to a hurting humanity. But this fact can
present problems.
The paradox is, who needs who? Is
the minister in ministry for others or for themselves? It’s so often both. But
their own suffering keeps them engaged with others’ suffering. Sufficient
self-work will mean their capacity for others operates freely.
Because the world is so full of
suffering, there will always be a need for genuinely inspired wounded healers;
those that have trained themselves to put themselves sufficiently in the
background, without neglecting themselves, so they can be of useful, loving
service. Indeed, the best wounded healers are masters of self-care.
Going The Distance
With an awareness of their and
others’ suffering ever before them, the wounded healer has the capacity to
journey with someone in a tumultuous circumstance. There is no rhetoric; no
fancy words. Distasteful things are tolerated. And tensions of anxiety are
absorbed.
To go the distance with the needy
requires the special ingredient of patience; to hold every sense of inner panic
with the poise, given by God, which is beyond understanding, to see the
situation through. Holding such moments of confused terror are impossible
without faith in God.
Going the distance, often against
every visceral impulse, is the job of the wounded healer. They inspire hope by
simply doing what can be done, by
being there, by being open to what is required, and to perceive the spiritual
need, however impossible that seems as a possibility for discernment to the
external observer.
***
The wounded healer is compelled to
help because they see suffering. They see struggle, because their lives
resemble struggle. Ever connected and, therefore, in tune with hurting hearts,
they know what’s needed. It seems strange: they embrace truth, hope, and joy
through suffering. Through suffering they are infinitely able to love.
It’s God’s will that we nurture
the wounded healer in each of us, and especially that we grow our capacity to
be available, in love, for others’ suffering.
Anyone who has suffered qualifies
as a potential wounded healer. Indeed, in this way we connect purpose with our
suffering in our helping others.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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