They say things happen in threes.
This was apt, when, on a recent night, I went to buy the evening meal. Having
innocently driven into a local drive-through, I obviously hadn’t noticed the
line of three or four more cars parked and waiting, just a little distance
away. Having apparently jumped the queue, a couple of drivers blew their horns
in visceral indignation. I quickly amended my mistake and decided to walk into
the restaurant to purchase dinner.
Service was average at best, and
having picked up this meal I drove home, but was tailgated for most of the
journey, before being overtaken on a residential street. I was doing the speed
limit.
Arriving home felt good, until I
checked the contents of the bags. A significant portion of the meal was
missing. I was quietly livid.
But such is life; our challenge is
to forgive in an ugly world. In a world that transgresses us, and often, as we
also might transgress it, and often, we still profit by finding a way to get
on—a way to deal with the encroaching cynicism and resentment.
Doing Something Impossibly Hard
When we are angry, forgiveness is
impossible. So to expect ourselves to feel compassionate when we want to rip
someone’s head off is a tall order indeed.
When things go against us we are
rightly angry. We are given these emotions as a sense of feeling for justice.
The only trouble for us is when the pressure valve blows and our justice must
be avenged.
Avenged justice, as a thing to be
fought for, very rarely comes out for
the victim as it should. So often the victim becomes the perpetrator. So often
the one transgressed becomes the transgressor, and sometimes there’s no coming
back.
But what is impossibly hard to do
when we are angry is sublimely easier through the agency of a few quiet,
reflective moments. If our wisdom can counsel us, as our temper climbs the wall
of our psyche, we can get beyond the need to avenge the initial transgression.
What Sort Of World Do We Expect?
Expecting to be transgressed by
other people, especially when we understand our propensity to offend, is a
sound basis for living this life. With that sort of outlook—expecting to be
offended—we can prepare our minds and hearts for it.
We all make mistakes. And we all
take ground that, on reflection, isn’t ours. We are not thieves at heart, but
our instincts have us doing things we occasionally regret. When we contrast our
true selves with the behaviour of others, we can see the problem better.
Sure, there is a reprobate element
to life—people who do things we wouldn’t dare do. But we are more similar to
other people than we realise.
So, when we have been the
transgressor, and when we have been forgiven, we truly experience grace. We feel very fortunate. Others who transgress us
deserve the same privilege.
Besides the above, when we refuse
to forgive, our resentment twists us into knots.
Forgiveness is necessary in an
ugly world. When we do not forgive, we become ugly in our resentment.
Forgiveness is the key unlocking the door of the heart’s jailhouse. Forgiveness
is a life-saver if our aim is for love, peace, and joy.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.