As there is sombre soberness in
the midst of many celebrations, there can be a great deal of sadness associated
with Mother’s Day. Some have lost mothers, some never had one, some are not mothers
when they’d like to be, and others have negative memories of their mothers.
There are a thousand and more different facets of sadness, even amongst the
happiness of such a day.
Sadness doesn’t change. But that
doesn’t mean it can’t be somewhat healed.
When Something Is Missing
It is crass to think that everyone
enjoys the concept of Mother’s Day without the possibility that it brings pain
to many.
Some even wish, rightly for them,
that such a concept was never invented. So much do mothers mean to us, and
fathers for that matter too, that the concept of Mother’s Day is associated
with a polar dichotomy. It brings up strong emotions in most of us.
For those who have lost dear
mothers, besides cool remembrances, there is a sure sense of pain—to have lost;
to have no more, barring the memory. And memories we can cherish. But the
sadness of loss is not lost on these.
Some never had mothers, not a
natural mother, as compared with most of the rest of us. There was perhaps a
grandmother, a foster mother, or an important guardian—who may have done a brilliant
job in their mothering. Nonetheless, Mother’s Day reminds us of what we never
had.
There are those, too, who have
battled to have the sort of relationship with their mother that has been, until
now, unrealised. Needs have been thwarted, and frustration continues to be
felt.
Finally, there are those who
desperately want to be mothers, and even have the finery of maternal material
to work with. But having a baby or starting a family has eluded them. Mother’s
Day can be a reminder of that which seems impossible or irredeemable.
Deriving Benefit From Sadness On
Mother’s Day
The world as it is celebrates
these days. We cannot do anything about that. We cannot get away from the
marketing onslaught, selling Mother’s Day to all who would buy it. We may loath
the very thought of such a day.
But this is not where we have to
leave it.
We can derive benefit from our
sadness, if we have the courage to be truthful with ourselves, and, especially
before God, we can be healed.
Healing is the derived benefit
from our heard sadness. Just to know we are not alone, that such suffering is
not abnormal, can be healing in itself.
***
Mother’s Day can be a sad reminder.
It’s because motherhood, generally, means so much to us that we may lament
instead of celebrate. Let us not judge our sadness. When we allow our sadness
to simply be, then we may be healed, again.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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