There may be two forms of
loneliness: one that appears regularly, even most days, yet it can be denied,
and from this form of loneliness we pick up a crutch. The other loneliness is
one that sweeps through our souls and, for a time, destroys us. Totally
deconstructed the only chance we have is for a patient reconstruction effort.
Of course, both sorts of
loneliness may merge, with stark remembrances of pain revisiting themselves
upon us.
Could it be, though, that, in the
midst of our loneliness, we might attempt words of consolation with ourselves,
through prayer before God?
Talking When Talk Is Impossible
This is most likely our problem.
How are we to talk in this sort of loneliness that is unspeakable? We cannot
seem to get the right words, or even a word, that comes close to describing how
we feel. These are the most discouraging of places.
When talk is impossible we can
feel completely defenceless against the assault of our aloneness. All we can do
is cry, and yet even that can seem pointless. From loneliness we lurch into
exhaustion, into simply a different form of hopelessness. And from these two we
tend to vacillate.
Our lonely circumstance is not
about to change, but what can change us are the spoken utterances—even in syllables
and gargling—that show us as expressive.
In these tongues of pain we
communicate with God in an unconscious language, and this is therapeutic. Such
prayers are just as important as our eloquent ones are. We may not decipher the
language these prayers are given in, but God hears the language shrieked from
our souls. And these efforts to appease God in identifying our souls with
desperation are commended.
Healing is on its way.
Courage To Communicate With God
It’s a risk to have faith in this
communication. In a more rational mindset we can see the benefit for such a
risk, but in loneliness all we feel is abysmal desolation.
If our logic can inspire us to
speak in pitiable words, and in strings of them that sound like gibberish, and
we have the presence not to deride ourselves, we may be steadily blessed of
God.
It takes courage to endure
loneliness. When we feel worse than death and there’s nowhere to hide, a small
but safe blessing comes about in the moment we take courage to communicate with
God. Take note: God understands the undecipherable language of our souls. We
speak and God listens. In this we’re helped.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
Graphic Credit: aMUSEd22.
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