Of all the decisions that are made
hard for us, the felt state of not fitting in makes decisions to leave a lot
easier. There are churches and relationships, where, no matter our effort, we
just don’t feel ourselves; they don’t feel right. We feel like a square peg trying
to fit into a round hole.
These are simply reminders we
haven’t found a place to land, yet. For, sometimes if we did settle, taking an
awkward ease in our dependence, we wouldn’t do justice to what is right.
Fitting in and feeling at home is
a very important thing.
Helping Others Feel At Home
If fitting in and feeling at home
is a very important thing for us, personally, we can begin to appreciate how
important it is for someone we notice who definitely doesn’t fit in.
Don’t we have a duty, in love, to
help others feel at home—feel accepted, appreciated, loved?
Sometimes when we focus on others
in such ways as to welcome them with our open arms our own problems and
feelings of inadequacy diminish into the ether. And, of course, when we have
fresh memories of not fitting in, our empathy for others who don’t fit in is
ever poignant. Our sympathy for them is real.
Not Settling Until We’re ‘Home’
Everyone deserves to feel at home
in a workplace, in a church, and in a relationship. Still, it’s never that
easy.
So many of our workplaces are
foreign to that homely feel; where we get on swimmingly with our co-workers and
bosses. Churches, too, often have a very ‘clicky’ way about them. It can prove
difficult to break into one of those church social circles. And if these former
two were hard, finding a relationship we feel comfortably at home in, where
there’s mutual respect and our partners have earned our trust, can seem impossible.
So often we put up with awkward
circumstances. When we don’t feel fully accepted, we can’t feel fully
appreciated. And everyone desires the recognition of appreciation.
Everyone deserves it.
Our choice, as we’re an advocate
for ourselves, is to keep an open mind and a courageous heart flexible for
finding our home in these relational settings.
***
Everyone deserves the opportunity
of fitting in, feeling accepted and appreciated. Feeling that we fit in, that
we feel at home, is never to be underestimated. If we don’t feel at home, yet,
we shouldn’t give up. Love will find us if we keep seeking.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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