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TRIBEWORK is about consuming the process of life, the journey, together.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Do I Fit in Here?


Of all the decisions that are made hard for us, the felt state of not fitting in makes decisions to leave a lot easier. There are churches and relationships, where, no matter our effort, we just don’t feel ourselves; they don’t feel right. We feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole.
These are simply reminders we haven’t found a place to land, yet. For, sometimes if we did settle, taking an awkward ease in our dependence, we wouldn’t do justice to what is right.
Fitting in and feeling at home is a very important thing.
Helping Others Feel At Home
If fitting in and feeling at home is a very important thing for us, personally, we can begin to appreciate how important it is for someone we notice who definitely doesn’t fit in.
Don’t we have a duty, in love, to help others feel at home—feel accepted, appreciated, loved?
Sometimes when we focus on others in such ways as to welcome them with our open arms our own problems and feelings of inadequacy diminish into the ether. And, of course, when we have fresh memories of not fitting in, our empathy for others who don’t fit in is ever poignant. Our sympathy for them is real.
Not Settling Until We’re ‘Home’
Everyone deserves to feel at home in a workplace, in a church, and in a relationship. Still, it’s never that easy.
So many of our workplaces are foreign to that homely feel; where we get on swimmingly with our co-workers and bosses. Churches, too, often have a very ‘clicky’ way about them. It can prove difficult to break into one of those church social circles. And if these former two were hard, finding a relationship we feel comfortably at home in, where there’s mutual respect and our partners have earned our trust, can seem impossible.
So often we put up with awkward circumstances. When we don’t feel fully accepted, we can’t feel fully appreciated. And everyone desires the recognition of appreciation.
Everyone deserves it.
Our choice, as we’re an advocate for ourselves, is to keep an open mind and a courageous heart flexible for finding our home in these relational settings.
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Everyone deserves the opportunity of fitting in, feeling accepted and appreciated. Feeling that we fit in, that we feel at home, is never to be underestimated. If we don’t feel at home, yet, we shouldn’t give up. Love will find us if we keep seeking.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

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