Mid-speech we find ourselves
acting on barely a thought and suddenly we’ve pushed out of safe harbour into
the most violent storm. One comment has generated significant dissent.
Something fearful, deep underneath
our conscious mask, has prompted this enquiry of imaginative proportions—we’ve
done what everyone does; we’ve made an assumption, and one poised in the depths
of our fear, not grounded in reality.
Assumption-making, as well as
gossip, is generated often by an unacknowledged lack deep within us. How could
we acknowledge something that’s burrowed itself deep below our consciousness?
The presence of assumptions simply reveals areas of lack within that we should
know about. If we’re interested enough to learn, our relationships will profit
and we, ourselves, will be better persons.
We, As Victims
On the receiving end of the
assumption is a vastly different story. ‘How could they possibly come up with that?’
is our incredulous response. How different others see us and our world!
We might feel judged; condemned;
at a loss for a response.
Assumption-making, whilst common,
is dastardly and destructive. As reflection takes us on a recent recrimination,
we agree, we must drop this practice. We must not assume. We must have the
courage to confirm our imaginative hypotheses.
Busying The Mind In Fact
If there’s one thing on which we
can always rely, one issue we can always trust, it’s the readily observable
truth. In the realm of relationships, a safely deployed truth does not
disappoint. Truth is information that’s accepted commonly—upon which there’s no
dispute.
She is a safe place, is truth;
especially as it pertains to relationships.
The opportunity to reduce our
assumption-making stands not in avoiding it, but in filling our minds, within
the relational space, with fact. This way we relate in fairness and respect and
it’s bound to eventually return to us, trust.
When we find ourselves acting on
unverified information a good discipline is both awareness and apology. When we
have the humility to be both held accountable to the truth and to own up in the
presence of someone else, we and our relationship and the other person all
profit.
***
Imaginings
that start in the head,
Bring the
opportunity to recognise instead,
A fact we
know everyone can learn,
With assumptions it’s always best
to confirm.
Assumptions cast relationships
into a land of unfairness, judgment, even condemnation, yet they’re so common.
Adjusting our thinking to account to the truth, to check our information,
issues respect and gathers trust. Everyone wins.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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