The greatest challenge for the
Christian life, for any life in that matter, is humility. Pride comes most
naturally. Even when we know we’re wrong we still may not relent. And there are
many forms of pride, just as there are many situations where pride creeps up
and gets the better of us.
“One of
the greatest ways to be humble is to get comfortable saying, ‘I was wrong’.”
~Joyce Meyer
Identifying And Sympathising With Our
Perfectionism
If we’re not perfectionistic, and
as far as wanting to be right any of the time we are, we can foresee the truth
in the above quote. If there’s one thing we’ll struggle with perfectionism over
it’s being right versus being wrong. We do not like being wrong. Hurt pride is
as visceral as it’s carnal. Even the most pious of people struggle with pride;
in fact, especially these.
Whatever the reasons for our
perfectionism, we can see our need of it; in this case for the protection of
ourselves in being right. Being wrong means we’re exposed, vulnerable and under
threat. Even if we’re not perfectionistic by personality, a sense of
perfectionism will drive our need to be right in a world where we’re often
wrong.
It’s best we just understand and
accept this about ourselves. Everyone struggles similarly.
Identifying with our need to feel
safe and protected is the first step in understanding our perfectionism
regarding pride. This is a normal human drive working appropriately. But it
won’t get us too far in our relationships. Relationships require some sense of
vulnerability; in other words, trust. Saying, ‘I was wrong’ trusts the other
person.
The Freedom In Being Happily Wrong
Venturing into the perfectionism
mentioned above we sense a trap. Upon pride there’s always a trap; it always
ends badly if we don’t recoil back to the truth by humility. If we stick there
our guns, despite truth to the contrary, our relationships will suffer.
Being happily wrong is admitting
we can’t be fully right in every circumstance. Indeed, we’ll only be partially
right in most circumstances. In the relational world, never will we be fully
right and the other person fully wrong; except in the case of abuse or neglect.
If we accept this we’ll have great relationships—because our relationships are
more equally footed.
If we can accept this, we can
accept being wrong at times when we are, and quickly we can get over ourselves
and the barriers to healthy relationship.
***
Being wrong is a universal human
competency. We all do it well. Admitting when we’re wrong is power for all our
relationships. A path to humility is in being happily and courageously wrong when
we are.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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