“Whatever good you think can be achieved with anger can be achieved better without it. Anger is the fuel of Christians too lazy to love.”
There would be no person born of a woman that does not struggle with their anger. The most righteous people in the Bible did, apart from Jesus, that is. Anger seems to be part and parcel of the way we respond in many situations that don’t go according to plan. And, of course, there are the times we get angry and we don’t even know why.
Anger makes for a fascinating study, so long as you’re not on the receiving end of it.
Anger is also the elephant in any room when it comes to relationships and the hidden things; those things that occur in people’s lives that nobody but the closest know about. Does anything rival the embarrassment, guilt and shame we might feel in our uncontrolled anger?
Anger And Relationships – An Incompatible Mix
For all that can be said about anger, we can know this about it. It never benefits relationships unless such anger is expressed in moderation—where anger might motivate us to communicate the truth in love. But that’s not really the anger we have in frame here.
The anger that fills our minds is the anger that has betrayed us.
Such betrayals have occurred, and have perhaps only occurred, within our relationships. Anger and relationships, therefore, are incompatible. If anger is our response to a relationship issue it is the wrong response.
The Effort Of Love
Love, so far as relationships are concerned, and not the romantic kind, generally involves effort. To climb over our propensity to get angry we need to find a way to love. Indeed, perhaps this is how we manage our anger; by committing to love instead.
By going the extra mile in our patience with people, by agreeing beforehand to love them, especially when we don’t want to, we choose the holy accord of love.
This, against the backdrop that presents a thousand different ways of easier response, is a difficult thing to achieve. But when we do achieve it, mastering the effort to love, we are converted to the personal power of hope and faith in it. God commends us because our relationships are blessed; because we are trusted and respected as a result.
Anger and love are polar opposites. When we are tempted toward anger with people we are tempted to not love them. It’s better to commit our efforts to love; to have the situational wisdom just to love. Anger and relationships don’t mix.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
Postscript: we should understand that never are we beyond God’s forgiveness for our anger. And if God forgives us, we can forgive ourselves.