What do we do when our love, in
all its copiousness, will not be received to the extent that we could give it?
There is, of course, the opposite question. What if we cannot love enough? What
if they desire more than we have to offer?
These are important questions in
loving relationships, as the tension between loving more and loving less unifies
and divides parties. Add to these complexities the recognition of the differing
seasons of life; we love and are loved more or less depending on the
circumstances of both parties’ needs.
The original position suffices:
what to do when we want to love them more.
Being Satisfied In Enough
Who determines what is enough
love? The other party who’s to be loved, of course. What might seem obvious is
harder to work out in the living of life.
We pick up within the receiver their
needs of love, and satisfying their needs is all that can be done. We need to
work on accepting that. They are the ones that deem what and when enough is
enough.
We might still struggle. We may
have so much love to give and our energy seems wasted, and it frustrates us. We
could find an outlet, and not necessarily one home to love; just an expenditure
of effort and energy. It’s beneficial to find a healthy outlet.
Becoming Creative In Showing Our Love
Sometimes people can be loved
differently through our creative expression. It may surprise them in the pleasantest
of ways. Then again, our extra efforts may further infuriate them. It can work
both ways.
But if we’re prepared to be creative,
we’re presumably prepared to exercise restraint and balance within the flow of
love that the relationship can accept. There are times in our relationships
with our grown children and with our parents and siblings where love ebbs and
flows. Predicting these ebbs and flows and sensing when to love, and how to do
it, is a desirable form of wisdom.
Most Of All, Acceptance
People will only receive the love
they need. There are many explanations why their need may have barriers
attached to it, or, in fact, why their need could be insatiable. It is unlikely
that our dearest relationships are evenly poised in terms of love.
All we can do is accept what is.
That of itself will take some work. We ought to be patient with ourselves as we
learn to discern the right pace and dose of love.
***
Loving people right has finesse
about it. They dictate their needs of our love. Our love is honed in discerning
that need and meeting it, not more nor less.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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