The Way Forward Through Forgiveness

The infuriation of conflict,

Is helped only when we own what’s ours,

To understand our own fault,
Is our reliance on all of God’s powers.

***

The only chance we have to shift the stalemate is to own what’s ours, though so many times it still won’t shift the other party. But it does mean we can now move forward – if one (us) can take our own responsibility.

To work through to a way-forward point we need to take responsibility for our side of the impasse. Only when we do so – when we allow God to penetrate our understanding to the point of confession – will we give the relationship any chance at all. And often it’s not truly about this relationship; it’s about our relationship with the Lord. Would we pass into eternity with such baggage to deal with before him? It should never be.

Three Reasons for Taking Responsibility

The primary reason for taking responsibility for our part in the fault is to be honest before God. The secondary reason is to give the relationship, itself, the chance it needs (don’t forget, this is a test of their integrity before the Lord, too). The tertiary reason is for our own peace of mind.

The first reason is most important. It’s between us and God. Conflicts that last and last are at the real peril of becoming a real issue for us if we take the impasse into eternity with us; to face God knowing we should have redressed the matter while we had the chance. See how important it is to forgive someone by seeing our portion of the blame? We cannot expect the full and unmerited forgiveness of God if we are not prepared also to forgive.

The second reason is life – life in this life. We are responsible for the blessing and the cursing of others. We will be held responsible if we withhold our grace. Besides, why in our right minds would we want another person to feel bitterness because of our acts or inactions?

The third reason is also important. We all deserve a peaceful life. We don’t get it unless we know we’ve done all within our own power, so far as it depends on us, to live at peace with everyone. We may not succeed fully, but if we’ve tried our best we should be able to sleep at night.

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We move forward through forgiveness when we understand three things: 1) If God has forgiven us he expects us to forgive others. 2) Bitterness between people is never good. 3) Living peacefully relies on living at peace with our world.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.

Four Hundred and Eight

He was the symbol of hard work,

Not one challenge did he shirk,

His number was four hundred and eight,
So many will miss you little mate.

***

As a teenager I had one dream; a dream that so many Australian boys have; to play Test cricket for Australia. I lived and breathed the game and watched and played as much as I possibly could. Of my life heroes, there are quite a number of cricketing legends: Dennis Lillee, Kim Hughes, Stephen Waugh, and more recently David Warner.

Australia and the cricketing world have witnessed the incomprehensible: the death of a cricketer out on the field; felled by a bouncer. Such an ever-present risk when those batting face a hard cricket ball flying around the head at nearly one hundred miles an hour, no one expects someone to die having been struck. And not just anyone died two days later, Thursday, 27 November, 2014, three days short of his 26th birthday. Phillip Joel Hughes was known by anyone who knows something about cricket all over the world.

The Life of a Talent and A Fighter

Phillip Hughes was both an incredible talent and a fighter; two qualities needed to succeed in almost anything. He inspired many, and, though his stature was small, his spirit was big.

The important thing, today, and all days ensuing – the legacy of Phillip Hughes – is what will last. His death reminds us of all the unique qualities of his life. What he gives is what he leaves; these fantastic stories of those who knew him, his very best and most enduring qualities.

As I watched the funeral service on television, I saw all those hundreds of people – all of whom will have their own funeral one day. We will all. Funerals are good for that very reason. They remind us that life is fleeting. Life must teach us this thing: give what we can and make of it what we can. Certainly, with us having lost our own son only thirty-five days ago, death, loss and funerals are not far from mind. These may crush us. But they must steel those of us who must live on. And living on must have meaning!

***

The talent and the fight in this young man who died at 25 is to be a message to us; let us use all our talent and our fight and our passion to make the very best and most of life.

***

Four hundred and eight was Phillip Hughes’ Test number; his was the 408th Baggy Green Cap. He wore number 64 in One Day Internationals. His Test top score was 160. His One Day top score was 138 not out. He was 63 not out when he fell. These are significant numbers. They are Phillip Hughes’ numbers.

***

What those who part us with leave us is an enduring memory of their goodness amidst God’s grace. Thank you, Phillip Hughes, for your contribution to your family and friends, to cricket, to Australia, and to the world.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.

The Shepherd’s Soul Task

The Heavenly Father will ask,

Every shepherd their sheep to keep,

That is their principal task,
The protection and care of the sheep.

***

“Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture! says the Lord. Therefore thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, concerning the shepherds who shepherd my people: It is you who have scattered my flock, and have driven them away, and you have not attended to them. So I will attend to you for your evil doings, says the Lord. Then I myself will gather the remnant of my flock out of all the lands where they have been driven. And I will bring them back to their fold, and they will be fruitful and multiply. I will raise up shepherds over them who will shepherd them, and they shall not fear any longer, or be dismayed, nor shall any be missing, says the Lord.”

— Jeremiah 23:1-4

These are words of warning or words of hope for comfort, depending on your viewpoint. This message wrought through the lips and heart of Jeremiah the persecuted prophet is both a word of warning and a word of hope for comfort. Too many shepherds in too many generations have been bad shepherds like the hired hand in Jesus’ parable of the Good Shepherd in John chapter 10.

The Bad Shepherd

We, unfortunately, know him too well. We’ve either seen or experienced him firsthand or we’ve heard about him. He is irresponsible so far as the needs of the flock are concerned; he (or she) doesn’t accept any blame for the destruction of parts or the scattering of sections of their flock. There is always somebody else to blame or the issue is made to seem less important than it is. Yet, there is no issue quite as important as this one, and there is only one person ever responsible for the sheep of the fold: their shepherd.

The Good Shepherd

We’ve heard of and experienced this type of shepherd, too. The trouble is it seems to feel more like folklore than a possibility for reality.

Sheep of any flock crave to be shepherded. No matter where they’ve come from they want to be protected from the wiles of the wolf – and today’s wolf is disguised so much that the vulnerable are ever most desperate for the care of the good shepherd. We are all vulnerable when it comes to our mental, emotional and spiritual worlds. We all need a good shepherd who we can trust our care to. The good shepherd is entirely trustworthy and will never sell even one of his sheep short.

***

So, if you’re a pastor, are you a bad shepherd or a good shepherd? It is not too late to say you’re sorry for having let some of the flock be destroyed or scattered. They may be scattered because of you. Be an encouragement to those you hurt. Don’t be afraid when it comes to making amends. If it’s done with respect and politely, most people will forgive anything.

***

Pastors are not first of all evangelists or teachers or prophets, but they are shepherds. Theirs is a pastoral task; and a pastor’s heart to protect and care for the flock of God entrusted to them is to be their number one value, priority, and identity.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.